Posted on 270 Comments

A New Start

I think everyone, at some point in their lives, experiences something that absolutely levels them. It may sneak up and completely catch you by surprise… or the thing will slowly and quietly eat you alive over years.

In either case – you are left broken.

You’ve hit bottom and you are not only faced with the daunting task of trying to get yourself back – you are also trying to rebuild your life from ground zero.

For all of us – the event will vary. The death of a loved one, financial troubles, battling bad health, the end of a relationship… regardless of what your “it” is, dealing with the aftermath can be both scary and (sometimes) liberating.

For me – without getting into too much detail – I finally decided to leave an extremely unhealthy relationship/marriage. This is not a decision I have taken lightly… and to be honest… I held on for way longer than I ever should have.

Why?

Because I loved him… Because loyalty… because marriage is forever… because relationships take work… because marriage is about forgiveness… because nobodies perfect… because I’m not a quitter…  

However, I have recently learned a badly needed life lesson:

Giving up isn’t always a failure. Sometimes – knowing when to walk – is the best and healthiest thing you can do for yourself.

It took me eight years to finally see through the fog but here I am.

In that time, I have half existed (not lived) in two countries. I lost everything financially. I gave up my career. I left my home, my family, my friends, my country… I compromised on way too much, lost my voice, lost my confidence… worst of all, I lost all sense of self.

And through it all my health – physically, mentally and emotionally – all took a major hit – which lead to me gaining 60 pounds…

…all because I put too much faith in the wrong person.

As someone who has always taken pride in being a “strong” person – this whole experience has been a tough pill to swallow.

The point of me sharing this with you isn’t to go through the details of the crap I have endured. Nor is it me asking you all to get your torches and pitch forks to take revenge on this person.

I guess, it’s just me putting myself out there.

You all know I married. You all know I had moved to Australia to be with this man… and I know there really is no way around addressing the change in my situation.

With that said – as shitty as it all is – for the first time in years I can finally breath. I am starting to think clearer without the endless drama and confusion. And, for the first time in a long time, I am excited to actually regain control of my life.

I’m not going to lie – part of me is terrified since it is a 100% rebuild but it’s better than the alternative.

All I can say is, I am insanely lucky to have such a loving, amazing and supportive family and friends.

I am also grateful to you.

There are so many people I have never met in person, who have cheered me on along the way. I sincerely couldn’t be more appreciative.

So, what’s next for me?

Step 1: Get Kris Williams back.

Beyond that, I have absolutely no idea but I have all the faith in the world that it will work out.

And for all of those who are also going though a bad stretch – hang in there, you are not alone.

Lots of Love,

Kris

P.S. I would love to hear your stories below in the comments… what was your ground zero moment? How old were you and how did you bounce back? What lessons did you gain from them?

270 thoughts on “A New Start

  1. Wow, this is really sad to hear. I’m not going to assume here but I’ll tell you my story and my moms. I was in a bad relationship about 10 years ago. She was a drinker, probably cheated on me (I’ll never know) and it was just all around not a good relationship. No big event occurred to make me hit “bottom”. It was just the realization that when it all came down to it-she wasnt there for me. And it hurt. But I left her. 2 months later I met my wife. 5 years married next month.

    Same situation with my mom and dad. My dad had substance abuse issues and was unfaithful and abusive. One day she had enough and literally packed up the apartment and left with me and my brother. A few years later she met my stepdad and they spent almost 30 years together before he passed away from cancer. Come home, maybe try therapy, work on your art (it will be good for you) and live your life the way you want it. The most important person is you. You did give up a lot for this man. But at least now you’ve made your decision. Try to look towards the future with a smile on your face. Make plans that you dont know if you’ll keep. Planning is half the fun. Most important-be safe.

  2. Not brushing your time married to his person aside ( I will get to that later) You did an amazing thing most of us never get to do. You flew half way around the world and lived in another country! That takes bravery! So #1 you are brave, yes girl you are. You stayed there trying to make things work, #2, you are loyal. You are also beautiful, talented and very intelligent! ( I met you once in Austin Tx.) Things will get better. I am not saying it will be easy, but you will get there. I had a series of unfortunate relationships after my divorce and finally I sat myself down and had a long talk with myself about the type of person I was attracting. I made a mental check list of things I would and would not accept from a significant other, and once I did that, I was able to reject those who raised those red flags (pay attention to those) and with in a year, I met the most wonderful man and married him. Marriage( or any relationship) is about give and take, but when you are doing all the giving and they are doing all the taking, well that is no good for anyone. Trust me Kris, You are young, (although you may not feel like it) you are beautiful, you are smart and talented. You will come out on top. And if you need a stress free place to crash of the night, I have an extra bedroom in my home. Luck and love to you. Hang in there, you will do it!

  3. I feel what you’re feeling. I’ve had to exist in a marriage that was toxic and lost everything about who I was. Not because I didnt recognize it, because I was ashamed of myself for marrying him,felt I had to stay …didnt want a have a “short marriage”. After 4 years I found myself again, full force. I never looked back, I was re-birthed and it was the BEST f’n felling in the world. I Walked away from my beautiful home but never felt more rich…that was in 2010….I’m am still living the best me!! I will never again compromise myself…stay the best you ,you can be❣❣
    I’m loving life …cheers to a new beginning ????

  4. You will get through this! You are a strong woman!

    While not my “bottom”, I am dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis as of July 26th. I’m half-way through chemo, with surgery and radiation still to go. Every day is a challenge. Taking things slowly and taking care of myself are challenges am I working on everyday…

  5. My life has been full of such moments Kris. Married at an early age to someone I no longer loved, although we had 2 beautiful children. Divorced in 3 years. A 13 year relationship with someone I truly loved. Took care of her 2 girls as if they were my own. Till this day I’m still their Dad. Bitter betrayal by their Mom. Heart broken and deep depression. Never saw it coming. But the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with is the death of my daughter on July 9 of this year. She was 33, divorced, and had my 2 granddaughters, ages 10 & 15. End stage liver failure. It was expected and it was a horrible thing to watch. It haunts me so. I’ve also been full of self doubt. Could I have been a better father? Could I have done more to have prevented it? I have good days and bad. A huge piece of my heart is missing. But I must go on. For the sake of my parents, my son, my other 2 daughters, my 2 granddaughters, my 2 grandsons, and one (gender unknown as of yet) on the way. I count the many blessings I have everyday. Nothing like you’re going through is easy. But you will be okay, and eventually you may find it was the best thing you could do. I don’t know you personally, but I feel like I’ve gotten to know you the past few years on social media. I hope you could consider me your friend. I will pray for you and your situation, and I’ll even ease up on the birthday cake thing. Lol.

  6. Kris,
    I randomly came across your website by chance. I read your letter and admire your strength. My moment I hit rock bottom is when I achieved my ultimate goal and career choice. I was 21, graduated a 4 year school and became a teacher and coach. It was what I wanted my ENTIRE life. My family was one full of teachers and my Grandfather a successful coach, to begin to follow in his foot steps was a dream come true. With in a year of graduating I had my dream job,bought a house,and was engaged. But mostly I was going to be a FATHER! I was elated. I grew up without a father and couldnt wait to be “SuperDad”. Well all was well but soon came crashing down. As a young teacher in a high school I made one bad decision and my life came crashing to the floor. For the next 10 years I struggled to come to grips with the choice I made that tore apart my life. I was happy, had EVERYTHING I wanted, had my beatiful boy and a white picket fence, why would I jeopardize that? I thought What can of person does that? Am I defective? What the hell did I do, HOW AND why would I even think about jeopardizing all I had? It took me ten years to realize I was self destructive, with low self esteem and got my feelings of worth from things that would only bankrupt your soul. It wasnt until years of self loathing and depression until I realized what I was missing “when I had “everything”. Self respect, self love, and realizing what “real love” is. When you truly love someone you want what’s best for the person you love, DESPITE how you yourself feels. So basically I learned I was being selfish, self centered , and emotionally void. I tried filling that hole with a career,a projection of happiness, instead of truly being happy. My son is now 11 and me and him have such a good relationship and he is my light, and my happiness. I learned I was trying to achieve love and happiness, when I had it all along. I guess what they say is true, Perception is reality.
    Keep it up! Thanks for sharing your an inspiration!

  7. Kris,
    I randomly came across your website by chance. I read your letter and admire your strength. My moment I hit rock bottom is when I achieved my ultimate goal and career choice. I was 21, graduated a 4 year school and became a teacher and coach. It was what I wanted my ENTIRE life. My family was one full of teachers and my Grandfather a successful coach, to begin to follow in his foot steps was a dream come true. With in a year of graduating I had my dream job,bought a house,and was engaged. But mostly I was going to be a FATHER! I was elated. I grew up without a father and couldnt wait to be “SuperDad”. Well all was well but soon came crashing down. As a young teacher in a high school I made one bad decision and my life came crashing to the floor. For the next 10 years I struggled to come to grips with the choice I made that tore apart my life. I was happy, had EVERYTHING I wanted, had my beatiful boy and a white picket fence, why would I jeopardize that? I thought What can of person does that? Am I defective? What the hell did I do, HOW AND why would I even think about jeopardizing all I had? It took me ten years to realize I was self destructive, with low self esteem and got my feelings of worth from things that would only bankrupt your soul. It wasnt until years of self loathing and depression until I realized what I was missing “when I had “everything”. Self respect, self love, and realizing what “real love” is. When you truly love someone you want what’s best for the person you love, DESPITE how you yourself feels. So basically I learned I was being selfish, self centered , and emotionally void. I tried filling that hole with a career,a projection of happiness, instead of truly being happy. My son is now 11 and me and him have such a good relationship and he is my light, and my happiness. I learned was trying to achieve love and happiness, when I had it all along. I guess what they say is true, Perception is reality.
    Keep it up! Thanks for sharing your an inspiration!

  8. I understand as I have had to rebuild twice. I think of life and starting over as a Phoenix. Life gets turned to ash, but I rise again stronger and more beautiful than before.
    I was an 18 year old mom who married her high school sweetheart. We had 3 beautiful kids and 10 horrible years of marriage. He began cheating less than 1 year into our marriage. By the time I found out about his cheating, we had been married 8 years. He moved out and married her not long after we divorced. They are still married to each other, and neither trusts the other. Guess what goes around comes around.
    I then met and married a very sweet man who was about 9 years older than me, but he was dependable, loving and gentle. We were married for 12 years. A few days after Christmas one year, I went to visit my now adult kids and to take some late gifts to family who all lived across the country from me. My trip was planned to be 3 days long. He called me on the evening of the 2nd day to say goodnight as he always did. The next morning I was awoken by an early morning (time change) call from his boss as work. He had not shown up for work, very unusual for him, and they had been trying to reach him every way they could think of for the past 2 hours without success. I called my local police and requested a welfare check after I used the find my iPhone app and saw that his phone was still plugged in and at home. He had suffered a massive heart attack and was found deceased in our bedroom. He was just 50.
    I have again risen from the ashes and have found my soulmate and the love of my life. Whom I have probably bumped into and walked past many times throughout the years. Life is funny sometimes.
    I truly believe that existence knows exactly what it’s doing, even when we don’t understand it. If I hadn’t experienced the earth shattering pain of my ex-husbands infidelity, I would not have had the softness of heart to fully love and understand my late husband, who was on the spectrum. If I had not experienced the crushing agony and life shattering of my husbands sudden passing, I wouldn’t have known how to open my heart, to let go of control and to let people help me – to trust people again.

    Every defining moment, every defining experience leaves you changed. You are not the same person when it’s all over. The woman who was my ex’s wife, is not the same woman who married my late husband. The woman who shares her life with her soulmate now is not the same woman who was married to my late husband. You, just like everything on nature, evolve and change during hardships. The caterpillar must change, struggle and evolve for the beautiful butterfly to emerge.
    Hang in there Kris and anyone else suffering. Don’t push life, there is a point of readiness that will guide your healing.

  9. So life is a bitch, but I’m proud of ya for fighting back. If you figure out the secret of how to make it work, let me know cause I haven’t in 10 years since my fiance cheated on me. I basically just go through life is a haze alot. I wish you all the luck, and I’m on the north east coast so free to reach out for any helping hand.

  10. Hi, Kris Williams
    I’m Jeremy Martin a big fan of Ghost Hunters. Let me tell about myself first then I’ll get down to the chase, okay? I was born in November 8th, 1994 in Trenton,NJ and we move to St. Augustine, FL in 2005. My mom’s name is Carrie, my dad’s name is Joe, my stepdad’s name is Tom, my brother’s name is Joey and my sisters’ names are Melodi and Morgane. I am a huge football fan NFL and NCAA my favorite teams were the Jacksonville Jaguars (NFL) and the Florida Gators (NCAA), but who cares I like all the teams. I’m also a fan Star Wars, Godzilla, Super Smash Bros. and M*A*S*H.
    Well enough about me, sorry for you been through this whole thing gives the toughest of times but, we’re glad you’re in the States because New England is your true home and to my all time nemesis of the NFL the Patriots, lol ?. Listen to me don’t let this whole Mayan bloodletting ritual thing or this marriage crisis get you. You’re a smart, kind, independent, brave, funny, and friendly. When I watch you on GH or GHI I can you are not of anything either they are good ghost you become polite and gentle, but to bad ghost they want to bully you or your friends you always uses way to provoke it to get them away and to leave you or them alone. You want to take my advice? Go home and put on your TV watch the reruns of the original Ghost Hunters on A&E and watch YOU because that’s the real you. I hope that I can see you on TV again either a new reboot Ghost Hunters with Grant on A&E, a guest appearance on Kindred Spirits with Amy and Adam, or join the new upcoming show calls Ghost Nation with Jason, Steve and Dave. We all missed you and to have you back in the States good luck on your new venture and be careful of what wish for. Bye, bye.????

  11. Learn to love yourself more, know you deserve to be happy. A lot of us have had to not just walk away, we had to RUN honey. You are young and smart and beautiful inside and out. Just don’t close your heart, true love, healthy love is out there. Happiness starts within

  12. Hi ,Kris Williams
    I’m Jeremy Martin, I am a loyal fan of the original Ghost Hunters. I don’t like to see one of my favorite paranormal investigators to be crushed like this, first Jason’s wife with her terrible brain disease and now you having a terrible marriage crisis. I know there is a Kris Williams we know on TV, listen don’t let the Mayan bloodletting ritual or this marriage get to you. You are smart, strong, independent, brave, kind , funny and friendly. When we watch you on GH or GHI I can tell you are not afriad of anything either a good ghost you like to be polite and gentle or a bad ghost if it trying bully you or your friends you trying to protect them by provoking like “back off”, “get away” or “leave them alone” or to dare the spirit to do bad things to people. You want to take my advice? Go home put on your TV and watch the reruns of the original Ghost Hunters on A&E to watch the real YOU because that’s who you really are. I hoping see you on TV again whether is the new reboot Ghost Hunters with Grant on A&E, having a guest appearance on Kindred Spirits with Amy and Adam or joining the upcoming show called Ghost Nation with Jason, Steve and Dave on the Travel Channel. See you on TV Kris we all missed you and good luck out there. Oh yeah, I almost forgot I’m from St. Augustine, Florida the same town where you and the TAPS investigate the lighthouse the second time.??

  13. I’m a 54 year old with Cerebral Palsy. I was born with it. When my mother was in her first trimester in 64, my oldest sister got the German Measles ( Rubella) from school and brought it home with her and so my mother got it too, it caused me to to be born with Cerebral Palsy. I’ve watched Ghost Hunters from the very beginning on the Si-Fi channel and GHI back when you were on both shows and have written to you on your page on Facebook a few times in the past asking you to visit my home town here in North East Alabama where I live. I just lost my 84 year old mother back in May who suffered from Multiple Myeloma. I also lost my niece in 20 15 who had Cystic Fibrosis she was 28 at the time. I’ve also had my heart broken a few times in my time and have been through tough times myself . We all go through hard times from time to time, its a learning process to be able to deal with those situations as I’ve learned. In the end however, you come out the other end knowing more and more on how to deal with them. You’re a beautiful young woman with so much a head of you and even though you will face hardships from time to time and you’ll learn how to cope and move on through each event. I give you my love and thoughts. CJTM

  14. Kris, I was where you are now a few years ago. I want to say just keep focused on you and will do fantastic. Money, a job, and your life back on track will come as you heal you. I wish you well and offer my best wishes for you in your future endeavors. If you ever need to talk just message.

  15. Two babies. Hidden bruises. Financially broken. Emotionally struggling and keeping it all silent from the world. I lost friend and family. I sacrificed myself. Without those scars, though, I wouldn’t admire the rainbows after the storms as much. I believe in you.

  16. Hi Kris
    First of all I’m glad your better. If you want to know my bottom is when I was diagnosed officially with Parkinson’s disease. I had spent two years with major tremors and no one knew why. So many doctor visits, and it took forever to finally see a Nerologist. I was a pretty active guy and when all of this started happening I also was helping care for my sick mother. Between my health and her becoming more ill, I wasn’t sure if I could handle everything. Mom passed in November of 2018, at this point I still wasn’t diagnosed but they had started me on Parkinson’s drugs and those were working. I was doing ok able to do some of the things I used to but not everything. So I went back to the neurologist in April and was asked not to take meds for that day. It was the most difficult day in a very long time. But they gave me the official diagnosis then. It was devastating. But after a few tears and getting over a few fears I have started my rebuild, like you. I hope that you get back to paranormal investigating soon. We all look forward to seeing you again. We have your 6.

  17. Married at 18, 2 children by 20, found out he was an alcoholic and abusive. 13 years later he plotted a triple murder/suicide for me and our daughters. Wrote a note why he was taking us with him, labeled each bullet with our names, called me to come to our home, I said No. I had enough.
    He panicked when he heard a car pulling that wasn’t me, with the guns and evidence laid out, and killed himself.
    I now have a wonderful husband I’ve been married to for over 20 years who adopted my daughters and showed them what a healthy marriage looks like. He fixed my broken pieces as well as theirs.
    Life is good, 7 grandkids and another on the way.
    I hope you find yourself, and find someone who will help you fix the damage that’s been done. <3

  18. Good for you Kris, time to take vare of yourself. Nothing is worse than tryung to be there for a person that is only there for themselves. Going through that myself quite a bit the last few years myself. You are a smart lady that needs to get back to what Kris likes and the rest will fall into place. Bless you in your endeavors and trust yourself.

  19. Rock bottom was being left pregnant and alone with 2 other young children. No cushion, no family close, no career, just a job that didn’t pay the bills much less deposits and necessities to start over. Fast forward 10 years later. I have brought myself through depression, went back to school and started a career, and just recently kick cancer’s freaking ass!!! Everything from this point will be hard, but so was living a lonely life with someone. You’ve got you!!

  20. You were always a beautiful woman and you always will be. I understand what you have felt and been through. I have been there to. It takes a while to rebuild. There is only one hing that I consider nice about it is I’m by myself and I’m free to do what I want, free to be me. Time will take shape for you and you will find what you want. Stay strong and keep your head up, like you said you have family and friends and that what matters.

  21. Hi Kris my ground zero was 3 years ago, wow it feels a lot longer, but any way I had to choose between stay and got killed or walk away and leave my kids with him. At that time I didn’t know that I can get government support for my kids. So I choose to leave my 2 boys with him and last year I found out that my youngest knew that his dad was hitting me because he heard it. But my eldest didn’t know untill this year’s March. I had depression in the last 11 years of my marriage. So bad that I thought every day about a different way to kill myself. There was times that I wished that he would kill me just get this hell over with. But the day when I decided to walk out the depression started to lift and a week later when my parents picked me up at my sister we found out that my uncle has passed away. And at his memorial I didn’t cry for his passing because I knew his is at the best Place ever. But I cried because I know I was about to break a promise that I made to God and I ask for my forgiveness and then I cried because I am busy burying my marriage. And when the memorial was over I felt like I was stepping into light after a long dark tunnel and like you said I was ready to face the world and to start picking myself up.

  22. You’ll probably not read this but, I was in a bad “common law marriage” luckily for me she did not take half my stuff. We get along better than we did when we were together. I know this is not the case with you. You will be WAY better when you realize FUCK every bad influence in my life. You will live for you. I will probably be single for the rest of my life but, that is okay by me. I have one son that is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I Work then go home and focus on what I need for me. I just turned 52 in August and feel great. You will be so much stronger for this experience. Be well and may The Great Spirit Watch over you and yours.
    JSPerez

  23. My first divorce (there have been two), left me at the same place as you. After fighting for our marriage for fifteen years, even through her multiple cheating events, she decided it was over, and filed for divorce. It left me with nothing…except very large child support payments…and a dire need to rebuild myself, as you said, “100%.”
    Let me tell you that, if I could go back and tell my young 30’s self anything, it would be this: The best is yet to come. Put all the effort you have into getting yourself put back together, live the life you love, and always be aware when there might be someone else who lives and loves that same life as you. They will be someone who can live and love you for who you are…and for the life you live!
    Kris, I tell you this with 100% certainty… You get yourself back, and I guarantee your best life is ahead of you! Sending love and good vibes your way as you start this rebuilding process!

  24. Wow! I never knew. I saw this post on your facebook feed. I have been a fan of yours since I first saw you on GH. I say fan, I guess alot of us guys into the paranormal got an immediate crush when we saw you first on there. I awlays enjoyed your calm and peaceful attitude. I wonder if Your ex didn’t take advantage of that? I wonder that because I was used as a pushover when I decided to get married. I didn’t end up getting married. I finally couldn’t look past the red flags and all of the warning signs and verbal abuse anymore. I got involved in a co-dependant toxic engagement. I was committed to this girl and had the usual attitude of “I will do what it takes, I can handle anything”. I knew going into the relationship that I had to be able to handle what came my way because having a kid would require me to handle the unexpected. I knew this was going to be the relationship that helped me grow. I was a pretty big into drinking at the time and wanted this to be my reason to stop and had slowed down considerably, unfortunately my wife to be was more of an alcoholic than I realized. She would get drunk and turn into a nightmare to deal with. Her jealousy got to the point where every time we went out there was a fight. Any time I wasn’t giving her all of my attention I was accused of looking at other girls and cheating on her. Of course I never did in the 2.5 years we were together. She wore my confidence down so low that I found myself looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact with anybody if we ever HAD to go ANYWHERE. It was slow so I didn’t realize how gradually she had worn me down. She would harass girls that I was friends with when she got drunk at night and stalk them online. She picked off my friends one by one and the relationship drama started turning my family against me. We would break up on a weekly basis. I’d be done with all of the heartache and then she would win me over, convincing me things didn’t happen the way I remembered.

    The final point wasn’t really a breaking point. It was just exhaustion. She gave me shingles at the age of 34 from the stress. I got so stressed at times my gums would start to bleed as a physical response to it. The takeaway I got from that and reading alot of these comments is that I think we have this willingness to sign up for marriage and have the most noble good intentions and want to put forth your everything into a functioning unit, a caring and nurturing family. I was convinced that I could survive and thrive in difficult situations, but I wasted my energy and youth on someone who wasn’t up to the task of forming a functioning family. She just wanted a ring on her finger. She wanted the rest of the world that she “snagged one”.

    I’ve been single ever since then, I guess about 4 years now. I’m mostly okay with being single since I’ve been an introvert my whole life anyway and enjoy my own company. It’s a million times better than being stuck with someone you hate. I can’t say that I hate my ex, but if we had gotten married I would absolutely hate her and probably be divorced and paying child support right now.

    If any advice I would say just take some time to have some fun again and catch up with old friends and don’t jump back into anything too quick. Maybe you are a little wiser on what to look for. Any guy would be lucky to have you. I wish you luck and have my fingers crossed for you.

  25. In 2016, when I finally had the perfect job after looking for years, I got struck by Guillain-Barre Syndrome. Very long story short; within a week I was completely paralyzed and it took me over a year of rehab to gain half my life and dignity back.

    Due to that I lost my job, and because of that we lost our house (my childhoof home I had bought from my father after my mother died).

    I have always loved music and would dream of a career as a film composer. After I got back enough of myself, I decided to go for it, and I did. Eventhough I will never fully recover, I am now doing what I love and becoming quite succesful if I may say so myself.

    I just think, just like you somewhat say, it’s a shame it requires such a hit before you follow your heart.

    But stay strong, warrior!

  26. I have walked in your shoes and it took a long time to come back to myself, but I never regretted it, not even once. I left a 10 year marriage, was financially devastated and heartbroken. But life has a way of working out. Good luck, I am sure you will find a new amazing path. One that will be more rewarding, fulfilling and positive. Thanks for sharing with us.

  27. Just want to say that you are Brave! I took that same step 14years ago & let me tell you, its so liverating! The best decision i ever made. Not just for my own sake but for my 2 small children. I too had stayed for the same exact reasons u stayed for 5 yrs. One day I finally had the courage to say enough is enough, for if I had stayed i would not be alive today. Thats not the life i wanted my kids to live or even worse being taken away by child services and being separated if i didnt survive. It took many years of self healing and getting over PTSD. I suffered years of waking up to horrible nightmares from the physical, mental & verbal abuse. I found strenght in my family & most of all healing through God! Yes i had a few failed relationships after my divorce and it took years of me being alone to fully heal and be ready for the right relationship. I can honestly say i am jow happy married to a wonderful man who loves me & my 2 kids as if they were his own. My ex husband is not involved at all! Due to the severity of the abuse. I have full legal and physical custody of my kids. Just celevrated my 1yr Anniversary of marriage to my current husband and 5 years of a healthy relationship.
    My words of advise for you are to always put yourself first, dont let any man treat you anything less than a lady! Respect yourself and take your time to heal, to nurture & love yourself no matter how long it takes. Travel the world! And enjoy life!
    Best wishes & you are in my prayers! If you ever need someone to talk to. Im here!

  28. The best thing about hitting rock bottom, and I have, is the rising from the ashes pheonix moment down the road. Time to heal, time to count on your friends and family and be you.

  29. My single mother passed away in her sleep when I was 16. Me and my sister were sent to live with different people. My brother was deployed after 9/11. My dads new wife wasn’t my biggest fan. After I graduated high school I sold everything I could, packed a bag and flew to California from Texas to live near a boy I met in an AOL chat room. I was broken for a while. But I always hated being told what I did was “brave.” I had nothing left to lose. I needed a fresh start. I learned, making a massive change isn’t “brave.” You don’t have to be brave to begin anew. Had that been the case, I’d still be in Texas. I hate hearing people say to just have the courage to do whatever. You just have to do it. You can be terrified, scared. That’s okay. I hope that makes sense. And FYI I’ve been with that boy for 18 years now.

    1. At 18 I met the man of my dreams. Fell head over heals for that gorgeous man in uniform (Army). We spent every moment together that we could. Got engaged after a year, married a year after that. Got pregnant 3 months before marrying.. not planned, didn’t even want kids.. Had a perfect baby boy amd life was good. Then my husband started drinking. Had a daughter 22 months after my son. And my husband kept drinking and drinking amd drinking… 8 yrs later (Son was 8, girl was 6), I was dealing with a full blown alcoholic who was physically and mentally abusive. Being a good Southern wife, I stayed. Until he broke my ribs on Mother’s Day in 2003, My 8 yr old son looked me in the eyes amd said “Are you ready to leave now mom?” Humiliated, embarrassed and ashamed I packed up eveything (when he left for work) I could fit in 2 suitcases and traveled by bus with 2 young kids from Arkansas to California to be my family. I had left the problem behind but realized the trauma was done. After 3 attempts at rehab and 6 years later my husband finally got sober. I had 6 years to find myself again and heal my kids.. We came back to Arkansas in 2010 and things have never been better. Its ALWAYS possible to find your way back to happiness, it may take years and a LOT of soul searching but we have a happy family, truer love and honesty. The kids are both married, Im a grandma and living this journey with that man who swept me off my feet 27 years ago. Marriage is not easy, kids are not easy. Life is hard , unkind at times but no matter what happens do whats best for you. Mo matter how humbling it may be.

  30. My rock bottom was when I lost my son at 15 weeks of pregnancy, within hours of a normal check up where everything was good. My husband was out of state with work, and I drove myself to the hospital with a dead baby hanging out of me. I went on to lose 4 more pregnancies after that (my son was my second pregnancy, first was ectopic, ruptured and almost killed me.) I was stubborn, refused to give up even though I was dying inside. My seventh pregnancy resulted in my now 3 year old daughter. And after one more loss, I now have 5 month old twins. Amazingly, my marriage lasted through all of this, which I’m thankful for. Life is tough, but you can choose to either lay in bed and let it over take you or put your head up and push through!

    1. You’re incredibly brave.. and strong. Walking away is so difficult. I’ve stayed in relationships for all the wrong reasons.. many in fact. Live and learn…..

  31. I worked for many many years in the Domestic Violence field. I don’t know your situation. I just want you to be safe. With that being said, I want you to be aware that the most dangerous time for a woman is when she leaves the relationship. So if there is a chance this person may be violent, please take precautions. I am not trying to scare you , I just want you to be safe as you begin this wonderful new life. You deserve it.

  32. I’m am beginning my restart as well from an unhealthy relationship that I’m struggling to get out of for the same reasons you shared above. This is inspirational to me.

  33. The bizarre thing is you’ve been on my mind for a few days and I had no idea why. And then I see this. The road to getting yourself back is not east but then, nothing worthwhile is. Glad to hear you are fighting for you.

  34. I was in a relationship for 32yrs. Wont go into details but it got toxic. I finally did what you did and left. Lost everything. But I have rebuilt my life remarried to a wonderful lady who I know is my soulmate. We have lots of fun. I’m not rich but I know God has helped. So keep your head up and if you need to talk contact me. Lots of love!

  35. Sorry to hear about your problems. Had some of my own last years. Still slowly take small steps back to my normal again. Still think it’s hard to find my own self. Almost forgot how to enjoy the small things in life, that really make me happy. But as i said, small staps in the right direction is the key i think. Rally hope you handle this the right way Kris. Sending a big hug!

  36. Life is not always rainbows and unicorns. I am 62 years old and in August of 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A fairly rare thing for a man. So surgery was the route. But fortunately it was only a lumpectomy. After the surgery it would be 16 rounds of radiation therapy, but before that could happen I had to make sure that my heart was good enough to be able to go through the process of radiation. So on with the cardiac tests. Suffice it to say I was also diagnosed with hydronephrosis in my right kidney and the also found 5 blockages in my heart. So within 1 1/2 months all of this was dropped on me like a ton of bricks. With a 12 month span I had 3 major surgeries and I am still recovering. I found that psychotherapy has helped tremendously. Help is out there. Hang in there Kris. You’ll be fine.

  37. hello Kris i was married before for 4 long years . i was a very abusive relationship the fact that she was a bad alcoholic and didn’t know how to quit and straighten herself out . which i tried to go to meeting myself to figure whats going on . i grew up
    taught not to hit a woman . but this was a very toxic place i was in . she one day decide to go live with her aunt cause i refused to go to any bar or buy booze to bring into our house which we eventually lost .so basically homeless . the hardest thing in my life then to tell her im done ,divorce papers are filed and we need to be apart . i questioned myself if i made the right choice . it got better with each day that passed ,every now and then thinking if she changed but went back to every Peaceful morning i woke even thou i was alone and i happier well . after a couple years i met some one new and that first bad Marriage led to a beautiful one of 27 years. recently like a couple years ago she loss her life to Breast cancer and i find myself alone again down in the sunshine state . i do have friends and family here , work 7 days,so have a work family as well .i am 57 years old. my therapy is jumping on one of my Harleys and rideing 30 minutes to an hour usually does it . but life is good . one day i might meet someone again ,but have an open heart to try love once again . it will get better for you ,give it time to heal .and stick to your guns and gut . even thou you dont know me i kinda know some about you by watching you on tv for years ,you are a beautiful and strong lady . you got this

  38. I’m so sorry. I completely understand. I had to make the hard choice to start a fresh beginning last year. A close friend of mine left my life last year, no warning, no goodbyes. I was so hurt & I felt like I wasted years on someone who didn’t care. I was hurt because she was the only friend I had & I was so fiercely loyal to her, I’d do anything for her because she was my friend and I loved & cared for her but she walked away without a goodbye. It was hard moving on after she left, I got Pneumonia or bronchitis and was sick for a month, a month later my tax refund was stolen from my bank account, then some months later my beloved dog died & my uncle passed a week after my dog passed away. To summarize, I had a really bad 2018-19 my own self. A few things I learned were to take some time to heal & rediscover yourself & to take some time for you. Don’t totally rely on others for your happiness & do whatever you feel like doing. Will the pain go away? It may not totally but things will get better eventually. The tears will stop & the grief gets easier to bear. I say this as a fan of yours since your first appearance on “Ghost Hunters”, you are a smart, amazing, highly talented beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. You can do anything you want to & I know you will be successful at it! You will rise far above your personal setbacks & be even greater. Take care, Kris! Wishing only the best for you!

  39. I went through a toxic marriage myself. Left it and gained full custody of two small children. I had to learn to raise both children, support them and Nurture them the best I could. A lot of people believed I would fail, but I took it one day at a time. Both Children’ are now in their 20s and well on the way to success in their own lives. The only advice I can impart on this is to take it one day at a time and be patient and strive for what you want and who you want to be again. Much love.

  40. Kris,
    I too am in a situation of an unhealthy relationship (17) years. I can pin so many labels ( Narcissism/Intermittent Rage). Just living life going through the motions. I am so glad that you took the steps to break free and get yourself back. I have followed you since your Ghost Hunters days and Have enjoyed your story along the way. It’s hard and exhausting trying to make things work and trying to just stay out of the way. You are an inspiration and such a beautiful soul. Keep moving forward. Wishing you all the joy and journeys life has to offer.

  41. Kris!! I am so sorry for what you had to endure. As I read your story I saw myself in every single aspect. I am currently in that position and have been for the last 15-16 years. (Been married for 26 years). The environment is so unhealthy both mentally and physically that I might as well be breathing asbestos 24/7. I don’t know what to do or how to proceed but I am older than you so I feel it could be even more scary.
    Anyway I am extremely happy and proud of you for your courage and strength!! Continued thoughts and prayers for you as you rediscover yourself!! You’ve got this!

  42. You can do it….!!! Believe in yourself..one day at a time ?

  43. Kris, time to close this chapter and start writing a new. I believe in you.

  44. You Are Free, girl! You still alive and The Show Must Go On!!!
    Go ahead, you rock!!
    Another day, another dollar.
    Takw Care Yourself. ???️?

  45. I’m not sure how to word this. I’m currently in s situation very similar. Im fighting so many feelings. Im older now its hard to start over. My biggest problem is the fear I have of actually leaving and what will happen. I’m trying to figure this all out. So many things and at times Its so over whelming. I hope I figure it out, soon!
    Thank you so much for shareing. It had to be hard. (It hasnt been easy for me) you have given me alot to think about! Thank you so much! I hope you doing better. I wish I had your strength. The fear is the worst!!

  46. Kris I could have written this but you wrote it much better than I could have. I’ve been in your shoes. Leaving a toxic and unhealthy marriage took everything in me. Because he’d already taken everything in me. I was so broken after almost 9 years together. Most people could not believe I was walking away because the face he put out to the world was so different than the face he had at home. I was nothing and my kids were nothing. We were a means to an end for him. I knew deep in my heart that he never loved me. But I honestly did not know why at the time. Then he passed away very unexpectedly. I had to help his brother clean out his house because we were still married when he died but I hadn’t seen him almost 3 years. During that cleaning his brother and I found more secrets. Devastating ones. I knew about his cheating. It had gone on for years. His brother knew that too. We did not know about his addiction to child porn. He should have been in prison for what we found. While I was trying to wrap my head around that my oldest son told me a secret. My husband (not my sons father) had tried to sexually assault him. It explained so much and left me devastated. His work worshipped him. If they knew what he was really like he probably would have been out of a job. I had to listen to people say what an amazing guy he was. They even put up plaques in his honor. And planted trees in his honor. It’s been almost 4 years since he passed. I still am not the me I was before him. I still do not believe another man will ever love me. But I’m trying to get over it. Kris I’ve always admired you. You deserve so much love and happiness. I know you will find it. I believe in you. My heart breaks for you that you’ve been going through this. You are very strong. Never, ever forget that. Sending you hugs and love from Oregon.

  47. So very well said.
    I think a lot of us just reach the point where you know inside that it’s the right time to make a change. But a lot of us don’t do it, with most of the reasons you stated. It can be scary. But I’ve found the sooner you do it, the better off you shall be later on.

    Thank you for putting yourself out there and writing this update. You deserve to be happy and loved. You have a lot of family and friends are all hoping for the same thing. Just keep being true to yourself and do what makes you the most happy and content.

    Thanks again for posting this. You have probably helped out a good many folks in a similar position.

  48. Go back to doing whatever it is that you love to do. It worked for me. x

  49. I don’t have a survival story, but I am so proud of you for getting back into yourself. My husband Jeff and I have bought antiques from you several times. We watched you on television. We feel like we know you. So know that, truly, we have you in our thoughts and prayers. You have a place to turn if you need it, and you have a fan base who will never abandon you. <3

    1. Dear Kris-
      I “met” you while watching Ghosthunters, we never actually met but through the show you get to get acquainted with the characters or the people in the show. Although we’ve never met we are in the same boat. I too entered a marriage that was not good from the start, but like you, I loved her and wanted to make it work. There were issues and problems but in the end we divorced. My life went through weeight gain depression and anxiety. I have had a great family to help me get throu this I say all this to tell you are not alone. There is a whole group of people like you and me who have gone through what we’ve gone through and are coming out on the other side stronger. You will be stronger. I have no doubt that this was the toughest thing you have ever gone through. Please know there are so many people in your Conner, your family, your friends, take advantage of them you are not now and you will never be alone. Please do not be afraid to reach out. Talk to your family, friends and your blog may even help. Kris I do hope this helps I hate to think you are going through something I am dealing with. There are so many people around for you. If no one else I will listen

    2. I was 33 when I married and 38 when I divorced, it was a very difficult time for sure. Hard to describe but it was almost like a death in the family. It’s been many years now since then and I’m happily single, it works for me. I find that the longer I’m single the happier I become with who I am as a person, so many people rush into something (including myself) right after a divorce/break up and that’s really the absolutely wrong thing to do. I’m sorry for your heartache but very happy that you are on the road to recovery/discovery! Sounds like New England is getting it’s girl back, just in time for Autumn! Wishing you nothing but the best Miss Williams! You have a bright and exciting future ahead of you!

  50. Wow I am so proud of you for finally breaking free. You deserve to be happy!! I hope you move back to the states where the spiders are normal size. 😉 You got this girl. Hugs!!

    My rock bottom was being an alcholic for about 14 years. It took a stroke last year to get me sober. Luckily for me I have no long term effects from the stroke besides memory. I will be 33 in November and have been sober for a year and a half. Without my long time boyfriend (16 years) and my parents support I wouldn’t have been able to get sober. My next goal is also to get healthier and lose a good 60 lbs.

  51. I also am leaving a bad marriage. Sadly, this is my second failed marriage so I have been battling with a tidal wave shameful feelings and wondering if something was wrong with me. But, I have always tried to put others first and found myself in positions where I didnt matter as much as what I could do for someone financially.
    Now I am a week away from moving into my first place all by myself. I have never lived alone so this is going to be huge.
    I also want to get myself back. Find Nikki!!! Chase my dreams and find that amazing true love that I somehow still believe in. I will not settle for anything less than the life I deserve.
    I know you will emerge from this stronger, healthier, and more in control of your life. We got this. One day at a time, one step at a time and when we fall down … we will get back up.

  52. Kris,
    I am sorry that you are going through all of that. I, too, have been at rock bottom and had to rebuild my life! I was mentally, physically, verbally, and sexually abused by my father as a child. My mother endured abuse by the hands of my father, too. It took him nearly killing her to get her to finally leave him. (That is when we finally told her about him molesting us. He always threatened to kill us if we told.) Anyway, I was 8 yrs old when we finally got away from my dad. I ended up being raped in high school by a 25 yr old married man. I got pregnant with my first child at 18. I did marry his dad and had 2 more children with him, but that was a mental, emotional, and verbally abusive relationship. At the end it turned physical when he picked me up, threw me across my daughter’s bedroom floor. I was thrown so hard that my glasses flew off my face and shoes flew off my feet! My ex husband then grabbed me by my ankles and drug me down our hallway out the front door. I almost hit my head on the brick steps as he pulled me out the door. The step did tear up my back. Then as I tried to stand up, he shoved me face first into the ground. All this was done right in front of our three children. At that time, my oldest child was 13 and my youngest was 5. They remember it clearly. That was the day I knew that marriage was done. I was 35 yrs old with 3 kids and was starting my life over! It was tough. I struggled a lot, but I pulled through. I have since found a wonderful man, who loves my 3 children as his own. He didn’t have any children, but I ended up agreeing to trying for more kids with him. So I now have 2 more children. Lol. There is 20 yrs difference between my oldest child and my youngest child. 10 yrs difference between my youngest of the older 3 and my oldest of my youngest 2! I feel crazy for starting over sometimes…. but I wouldn’t change it for the world! 😉 Good things have happened since I left that bad relationship! I have truly been blessed this time around!

    Good luck and I pray everything works out for you. Keep you head held high. You got this!!

  53. It took 20 seconds to scroll this far to be able to type!!! You are loved Woman!

    Look, this Ohio guy amd his family think the world of you. We, all 4 kids and a wife, invite you to this rural area close enough in every direction to Big Town fun, but small enough to have personal and genuine fun without the creepiness. Troy, Ohio. 20 min. from Dayton airport. Come be yourself. Cuss a bit, because genuine fans know that’s just you, enjoy some home cooked meals, explore some underrated places, see why Ohion is considered the melting pot of the nation (where Ohio goes, so does the nation). Is it as pretty as some, no. We are genuine and discreet, and the offer stands for real. I applaud staying true to yourself and just putting it out there. I often wondered if there was some hidden meaning behind your paintings. Know that you have support everywhere. The offer to come visit us is zero creepy, free, and discreet. If you decide to travel we would love to have you, and wish you the best in everything! Come Home, wherever that may be.

  54. Hi Kris. This feels weird reaching out to a stranger and telling my story, but if it helps you and helps other, then why not. My story began when I was in high school. Met what I thought was the love of my life and proceeded to try and make a life together. We were together for almost 20 years, married for 13 of those years. Out of this marriage we had to beautiful sons, ages 13 and 10. The cracks started showing shortly before she became pregnant with our first son, which I should have acknowledge, but I’m like you. I was loyal to a fault, I was not a quitter(still am not), and I knew in my heart I wanted to make this work. The unfortunate part is in the process we forgot about ourselves and focused only on the kids. I don’t know your situation nor is it my place to ask, but obviously like me you recognized a problem, but unfortunately didn’t address it as soon as you should have.
    I think it’s all part of the process. We have to make the mistakes to recognize what we truly need in life. I wish I would have done something sooner in my life, but I don’t life with regret. That’s a waste of my energy and a waste of yours if you allow yourself to go down the path. Always keep moving forward!
    I’m sorry you have to go through this, it’s never easy, but you’ll be a better person for it. Looks like my emails attached so if you ever want to reach out and hear more of my story, please feel free to contact me any time.

  55. I’m not much into sharing, but I have been in the same situation. My father said to me, “ You did not fail your marriage, your marriage failed you.” That was all I needed. It gave me the strength to move forward. I can now say I’m in a beautiful loving relationship. Stay strong never give up never give in. You got this.

  56. Jan of 2017 I met a beautiful young lady. We started talking becoming good friends. November of 2017 we started hanging out more. Jan of 2018 we decided we wanted to start a family. Later that month she had her car stolen. I stepped up providing my vehicle so she could take care of her kids while I was at work. March of 2018 I decided to help her get a car, I cosigned. The following month she asked me to step back a little so she could focus on her career(law enforcement) and her kids. What she did was just change the person she was doing things with from me to a coworker that she has known for years. Telling me she loved me still. July of 2018 she told me that one reason she pushed me away was because she found out in June that she was pregnant but had a miscarriage. August of 2018 we got a dog together. Few months later she got rid of the dog because it wouldn’t get along with his dog. Told me it got sick. November of 2018 she was telling me she loved me and missed me…..Jan of 2019 she finds out she is pregnant by him. March of 2019 she stops paying on the car. August of 2019 refuse to pay for the car or give me the car. Now I either have to pay $3500 to a lawyer to start paperwork for me to get the car from her or let the bank repo it. Lesson learned…dont do commitments for others that hasn’t should commitments to me.

  57. Making the toughest decisions in life can be empowering once you accept them.
    Coming to those decisions, however, is no easy thing.
    It takes a strong person to make a decision like you have and that is the first sign that things are going to get better for you.

  58. I am devastated and overjoyed! I am devastated that you had to go through it! It is horrible that someone that has brought so much joy to so many has had to go through something like this!

    But I am overjoyed that you are finding the Kris Williams that we all know (well like feel like we know lol) and love!

    Exceptional people often go through exceptionally tough times. I’m confident you will emerge just as bright and beautiful as the light in the darkness we all know!

    I similarly walked away from a rough marriage, and while I’ve never trusted anyone again, I’m far happier and have been blessed to be far more successful!

    PS: I’m sure you still throw like 102 mph even with a tiny weight gain, so don’t even worry about that!

  59. I will lead by saying I am devastated and overjoyed!

    First, I am devastated that somebody that has brought so much joy to so many people has had to go through something like this. Astoundingly, in my advanced age (39), I have found this is more often than not the case. Exceptional people go through exceptionally bad situations.

    Secondly, I’m overjoyed. For years, every few weeks I’d think I wonder what Kris Williams is doing. I’d google you, look up your IG, etc. But I always had this feeling that something had to happen to make this bright light disappear from our lives. Granted, I think everyone in my age bracket had a celebrity crush on you, but you never have been far from top of mind. That said, I’m so glad that you have decided to do what is the hardest thing anyone can do…walk away from something that is keeping you from being who you were created to be!

    I was married to a person who used her son and my “savior complex” to coax me into marrying her and bearing her financial burden. To make a long story way to short, after some years, I decided not to care what anyone thought, and walk away. I still 15 yrs later miss my step son, but I am far happier and have been blessed to be far more successful.

    I also gained a lot of weight, went bald, and generally lost who I was. Well I’ve gotten back healthy, and found myself. Still haven’t found the hair! Haha But I’m ok with that! Bruce Willis made being bald cool!

    I’ve rambled too long, but I’m so happy for you! I can’t wait to have you in our lives again in whatever capacity you want!

    Ps: I probably have to apologize (Not formally haha) to Jason Hawes because I always in the back of my mind figured he was a jerk and why we lost you. Oops! Hah

  60. Just from the times I’ve seen you on Ghost Hunters, you seem like a really cool person. The best thing to do when you’re in an unhealthy relationship is to get out of it. No one can fault you for getting out of it. Kris Williams is more important.

  61. Kris. First of all I miss seeing you on Ghost Hunters…but most of all it’s good to see someone go through the same things that I have. I was married for 10 years and thought she was the one. But things changed drastically. I’m a Marine Corps veteran and served in Afghanistan and Iraq. I suffer from ptsd. My days use to consist of panic attacks and severe depression. Until I opened my eyes and realized I had no support and realized the spark was gone, I up and left without looking back. I always wanted kids but my significant other didn’t seem to want the same. Being the last in my family to have my last name I always dreamed of having kids to keep our name alive. I started all over and with support from my family and friends, I was able to rebuild my life. I found new love and started a family. I have a handsome little boy now and he’s going to be two next month. Reading your story made me feel the same way. Starting over is so scary but sometimes it’s worth it!!! Hang in there and keep your faith on the bigger picture. I hope you find peace and can finally be happy again!!!

  62. For whatever it’s worth from a stranger, it takes courage and a deep inner strength to step into hard decisions and find a light where none seems to exist. You’ve done that! It does little good to say, “I know how you feel…” and other platitudes, but suffice it to say, you will survive, overcome, stand upright and find a new and more creative and interesting path. Have faith in that and in yourself to do it, take hold of the opportunities and know that the first steps can be hard but you’ve already taken the hardest ones. Be well, and may your journey be happier and more and more rewarding each day, each moment.

  63. Hi Kris,
    I have battled major depression, and anxiety with panic disorder since I was 5. Mental illness runs in my family. My mom never got me help when I was young . I’m 44 years old and back then, I don’t know how anyone would of helped. I was physically and emotionally bullied by one girl in kindergarten and no one believed me and was forced to go to school everyday knowing I was going to get physically and emotionally abused. Then while I was young, under the year of ten years old, it’s hard to remember but I got molested by 2 different people at 2 different time, one was my cousin and I never told anyone because I had repressed it and didn’t remember till I was a teenager so I developed PTSD. I ended up at a young age getting into relationships and being with boys doing things I shouldn’t have that I thought was normal, I thought that’s what love was, my dad was always gone while I was growing up so I never felt emotionally loved by him. My depression and anxiety got worse because my mom allowed me to have all these boyfriends and I was looking for love in all the wrong places. I started experimenting with pot and alcohol at 13 years old, but then I found a boyfriend when I was 14 and he was 18 and we had a 5 year relationship but he was very controlling and verbally abusive. I got pregnant at 16 and my mom was mad and I was going to get an abortion but I had a miscarriage and she never told my dad because they fought all the time , verbally yelling, and she never talked about it again. Also I had scoliosis at a very young age, my spine was crooked. My mom could have gotten it fixed by having me wear a brace but because I was so anxious as a child , I refused to go to the doctors and a dentist also abused me and no one believed me.
    I finally started getting help for my depression and anxiety in high school , which I had since I was young and was put on medication. When I turned 20 I started drinking on the weekends pretty heavily, going to parties with all my friends and they drank like I did. Their would be hard drugs at these parties because I always hung out with older people, so there would be acid or cocain but I was too scared to try them. I would drink to get drunk because my medications were not working and I would drive and I got bad but never drank during the week or during the day so I thought I was fine. Then I couldn’t drink anymore because they changed my meds and I would get deathly sick so for a year I was miserable, depression and anxiety spiraling. My best friend started doing heroin and I started going out with a guy that did it but he only did it once in a while but that turned into everyday. I was going to college at the time , living at home but then I moved in with him. The relationship got bad because all he cared about was drugs . He got arrested then his parents moved to California and he went with them but we tried to stay together. He came for a visit meanwhile my best friend was getting really bad with the drug, everyday. After years of hating it , saying I would never do it and wondering why I was not lived enough by this man to stop, my depression got so bad and I tried it. Well that was a huge mistake because for the first time in my life, me depression went away, my anxiety went away and I was happy! I got addicted to heroin and I never thought I would. We broke up and I started using with my best friend daily. Doing things I never would of done sober to get drugs. I was 25 at this time. I dropped off it of school with only one year left . After 8 months my family knew but they didn’t know what it was and they always denied problems and shoved them under the rug. I went to 3 detoxes in 6 months, I couldn’t stop so I went on methadone and had to drive to get it daily. I was depressed so bad I literally was in bed for 3 years, on this stuff longer than I was using. I ended up in and out of psychiatric hospitals and dual diagnosis programs, I went to so many and nothing was helping. After 4 years of being miserable I tried to seriously take my life. Then I relapsed, got kicked out and went to many programs, I graduated a halfway house and went to a sober house but during all this I lost my family’s trust and they didn’t talk to me. I was in a big city now and I was scared to death, I didn’t know how to take care of myself, my parents always did everything, I had zero self esteem which I always did. I started getting clean time together and got a job while living at the sober house, I was sober a year and a half but still depressed and very vulnerable. I met a guy through a friend and I had no interest in him other than a friend so we would hang out and I told him my whole life story, good, bad and ugly , I trusted him. He started trying to date me bringing me flowers , taking me out to eat but I still was hesitant but he had been on his own and knew how to live and he started showing me things and made me feel wanted, needed and safe so I gave it a shot. I started seeing red flags like jealousy and being controlling but I let it go . I figured if this guy loves me after I told him I did drugs and everything else, he must see something in me. So I moved in with him, by this time I had about 2 years clean and sober . I ended up getting pregnant very quickly and he was already being abusive towards me verbally and emotionally and was extremely manipulative, he had me thinking I needed him he was physically abusive
    Once or twice but after I got pregnant he was upset because he had another child but the mom was using drugs and lost all her kids including his and he told me she was the bad crazy one . So I almost didn’t have this baby because of the long line of mental illness in my family
    I was in no position to have a baby but something told me to have this baby. I was 29 years old , quit my job because my back hurt so bad when I was pregnant because of my scoliosis to which I was told now that I stopped growing, nothing could be done about it. So I told my parents who did not want me to have the baby but I just said I was with ir without them so they agreed to let me come home. The father didn’t drive if have a license and we lived 45 minutes away from each other but we decided to make it work even though I was home but my whole pregnancy we would fight constantly on the phone . I went into labor 7 weeks early, hadn’t had my shower or breathing classes
    I get to the hospital my water broke
    My son was born 4 pounds 7 ounces and had to be out in an incubator for 3 weeks. During my pregnancy I had to stop taking all my psychiatric meds except one because they said my depression is so bad it would of been harmful to the baby if I didn’t take something. I got put right back on my meds after I had my son. The father got so mad at me right before he was born because I gave the hospital his name and he screamed at me in my hospital bed, knowing their could be something wrong with our son, he cared more about having to pay child support than me or the baby, I should of left him right then and there but I didn’t and that was the start of 4 years of extreme abuse on and off. I gave the baby my last name , he regretfully signed the birth certificate but lied on it . He never got legal visits or any custody . I continued to live st home with my mom and dad and tried to make it work for 4 years. There were good times but the bad times outweighed the good. He physically abused me one day in front of my son but he was only 3. I left but went back, the cycle of abuse kept going and going and I stopped sticking up for myself because I realized if I did he would get physically abusive. So it was a dollar coaster ride for 6 years, he gave me no money. Finally I found out he had been cheating on me for a year with another girl but I fought for him, why I don’t know, I thought it was my fault I was making him mad, if only I could change to make him not hurt me anymore, he held me emotionally hostage saying he would take him from me , go to court, tell them about my drug history even though I was clean, I may have drank a few times like 3 in a 4 year time and he would bring up my suicide attempt , call me a mentally handicapped junkie, he never saw me use drugs, he would tell me to kill myself! Those are just a few things. This new girl was an active alcoholic, she lost her son to the father, she had visitation but she still drank. He did what I couldn’t do for myself which he chose her, he said I’m choosing an alcoholic over you so what does that say. They would beat each other up all the time. So I thought I’m free, he won’t abuse me anymore but I was sad too and had a breakdown and I relapsed on heroin for the first time in years!! I used outside of the home, not around my son but after 2 weeks my body was addicted, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop. I went to an outpatient program for addicts but was given a suboxone by someone because I was sick. I remembered getting that when I detoxed off of the methadone so many years earlier, before I met my sons dad. It helped me and made my depression feel better so I went into the hospital because my depression was bad but I was getting these from people but I wanted to get on it legally. So I found a psychiatrist who was certified to prescribe it and it saved my life. I still tried to co parent with my sons dad for my son but he would not show up over and over and over but then he would and he would be very verbally abusive to me still while having s girlfriend. He was in and out of our lives, I gave him chance after chance but he was breaking me down. I had to call the police many times, it was bad. He went away for a while but then would come back . I couldn’t do it anymore
    My son was getting old enough to know what was going on , I wasn’t getting child support. Finally one day I had enough but I was too scared to do something because of what he would do to me , then he really hurt my son emotionally and it came to the point I was going to get in trouble for not intervening so I blocked all contact off with him. He called child services making false allegations that I was using drugs and not feeding my son . He got new emails to keep harassing me and calling my parents threatening them, harassing them. I finally went to the courthouse and filed an emergency restraining order. Ten days later I had to stand in front of the judge with my mom there and friends and tell the judge 11 years of abuse I had been through but he had not physically abused me in years but was verbally and emotionally abusive and to me, that was worse and he was doing it in front of my son. The judge did not allow my son to remain on home order because his father never physically threatened to harm him and never physically harmed him but he verbally and emotionally harmed him and my son was afraid of his dad and did not want to talk to him and my sons dad told the judge he had to make my son talk to him that we were brainwashing my son not to talk to him. The judge said absolutely not, he does not have to speak to you and neither did I. I got the order and I finally felt free but I have so much guilt for letting it go on and off . I got PTSD from that relationship, I didn’t realize it was abuse when it was verbal because he wasn’t hitting me , he drilled that in my head and seeing my mom and dad fight even though caused me great anxiety, I thought was supposed to be or I accepted it . I had to see a domestic violence counselor and learn that I had been extremely abused for years!!!

    I’m still not right. I still have low self esteem , it’s only been 4 years since I got the order and I renew it every year but this past year I missed the date and had to start from scratch again, he had never shown on the other dates but he had just broken up with his previous girlfriend who I met and he abused her bad and she got a year restraining order on him. She told me he said he was never going to contest my orders because he didn’t care, he just cared about his son but I don’t think so because he never went to court to get visitation rights nothing
    He thought he won when my son was taken off but as long as I have my son , he can’t come near me. But he showed up this past year for the first time in 4 years and I was so shaken up, I was sick to my stomach, I thought I let that go but I have not, he still scares me and I have nightmares a lot! But I stood up to him , I had the strength to have to tell my story all over again and tell the truth!
    So I stayed single for ten years after we broke up when my son was 4. My son is now 14 and I started dating again but I’m very cautious.

    Long story I know but I still battle daily with my depression and anxiety and PTSD. My son did get diagnosed with anxiety with panic disorder. He gets panic attacks a lot but I’m getting him the help he needs. My back keeps getting worse and worse but I can get cortisone shots but I do have chronic pain .

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, it is such an inspiration to others who have been through similar experiences!

    You went through a very hard time but you got the strength to walk away and take care of yourself not knowing what the future holds! You are truly an inspiration!!

  64. Don’t know if I’ve had a ground zero, per say, but I’ve had some pretty low moments. Financially, of course. We’ve all been there I think. Heartbreak? Naturally. But, for me, low points seem to have been worth the paying of a loved one. Was lucky enough to know 3 of my grandparents, the last of which passed 3 years ago yesterday. That was difficult, but she lived a great life, and I have so many memories both of and with her, that I’m ok.
    I lost my best friend on 9/11. He went to work early that day for some reason. 1st tower that was hit; last to fall. 92nd floor. I feel like I watched him die on tv. And to this day, I can’t watch any of the footage of that day. I’m still not past the point of being “over” that day. I don’t think I ever will. It’s just something I’ve learned to live with I guess.
    Most recently, I lost my father 4 week’s ago. It was sudden. He would have turned 72 this month. This one’s not easy. But, I had a real “heart to heart” with a close friend about his passing. That night, my father turned up in my dreams. He looked great. He looked happy. He flat out told me that he felt really good, and that I didn’t have to worry anymore. I woke up the next morning feeling differently about his passing. It wasn’t so heavy off a burdon any longer. It was comforting. I’m still grieving, and I miss him terribly. But like my grandparents, I have a lot of good memories that still last forever.
    And that’s my advice, take comfort in the good that was. And lean on your loved ones for support.
    Thank you for the platform to write this, Kris. You seem like a cool cat on the Twitter!
    -nofx4us

  65. Aww Kris, I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through. I’ve honestly been in a similar situation. My first marriage lasted 9 years in which I gave him all of me& ended up more like a rug. The final straw was when he looked at me& said we shouldn’t have kids…that’s all I’ve ever wanted…so I stepped away & found Jamie version 2.0 & I’m stronger than I ever imagined I could be& so much happier. Keep moving forward& you’ll love the stronger version of. Much love!

  66. Kris, you are a strong person, you will fight for what you want and I hope and pray that everything will turn out the way you want it too. You deserve much more and you need to heal within

  67. So sorry to hear what you are going through Kris! My ground zero for me was when I found out that my husband had been cheating on me. I was devestated. I ending up having to move out of the condo we had at the time and he had custody of our daughter Ashley as for the next 10 years I was having to rent rooms until I moved to Virginia in 2010 because of my job. I ended up in the hospital 3 times for depression. I felt like a failure and had low self esteem after that and still do to this day. But since moving to Virginia I became a new home owner and got a new SUV. Unfortunately I am just getting out of a 8 year relationship and it hurts but things happen for a reason and having family and friends has really been a blessing. My daughter lives in a group home in Maryland but we FaceTime every night and she is happy and that is all that matters. You are a strong and beautiful person and will get through this.

  68. Kris, I absolutely empathize with what you are going through. I have been in a similar situation. I am free to talk if you need it and know that one you got rock bottom, the only direction left is up.

  69. First and foremost you will get through this. Yes it sucks going through it. 5 yrs for me. Walked out when I found a birthday card to my ex from another woman in the nightstand on his side of the bed. Found her number in his Rolodex (before cell phones for those going”a what?”) and called her. Not a good conversation but I very clearly made my point. Packed and done. Took 9 years (lots of mental/verbal abuse) to get “me” back but it’s all worth it. I’m remarried (12 years)and couldn’t be happier. You’ll get there Kris. Deep breath, keep your eye on the prize and don’t look back! You are what matters!

  70. If you need a place to catch your breath and just disappear for a while my home is open for you. I’m not a psycho or anything I’m just a mom and have 2 daughters that have been through shit, made it out, and are living their best lives! I have a spare bedroom and bathroom that is open to you. I’m in North Carolina and your welcome anytime.

  71. Kris, I hit ground zero back in 2006 when something ruin my whole life and it’s took until over 10 years to slowly put my life back together, I felt worthless and wanted to give up so many times but a little voice kept telling me to hang on and things would eventually get better and slowly they have, its been hard with good days and bad days but keep your head up and keep a positive attitude and you’ll make it. I’ve always been a huge fan of yours, you seem like such a sweetheart and genuine person. Hang in there.

  72. No matter how much life hurts, just remember it’s a teachable moment… a guiding light telling you it’s time to make a change. Life doesn’t have obvious roads for us to follow to where we need to be, it guides us with life lessons. Best wishes on your journey to happiness.

  73. I feel for you. I did the same thing a few years ago and I’m sorry you are going through this. The one thing that I feel I can say with certainty is that you will not only find yourself but you will find a new you through this process. It’s not easy but it is necessary and I’m sorry……I don’t wish this on anyone. Hold your head high and plow through. I promise no matter how hard the path seems ahead……it’ll get better.

  74. Thank you for sharing. I held onto my marriage for far too long for many of the same reasons you did. Finally, when rock bottom happened (domestic violence), I was left with no choice. Thanks to God I have not only survived but am so much happier now. Life is wonderful. I’m so blessed and grateful to be free from all the drama. I’m free to be me again.

    You are going to get through this and soar! We’re all cheering you on!?

  75. Hi Kris,

    It takes a unique character and a certain strength in someone’s “id” to be as vulnerable as it can be when opening yourself up about what you’re going through. I applaud you and admire you for taking this step.
    I have been a part of a toxic relationship on and off for 7 years. And every time the relationship goes south it is just a matter of time before it’s on again. Each time I am able to learn more and more about the situation, the other person, the manipulation that I can clearly see controlled me. Yet I still somehow fall back into the trap. Last summer I took a huge step by seeing a therapist – actually talking to someone about it and being honest with myself. It helped a great deal but yet again I fell into the trap at Christmas and it lasted a month. It has now been a solid and consistent 5 months of no communication. I’ve changed my number, blocked them on social media accounts and almost feel free. …. almost. I still fear the day they do reach out in some other way. I can only hope I’ll be strong enough, finally, to resist.
    I wish you nothing but the very best in finding yourself and moving forward. From a fellow New Hampshireite – “live free…”

  76. Hi. My rock bottom moment was October 02, 2000 when my high school sweetheart died. We were married almost 15 years and had 3 preteen sons. My oldest was in a children’s hospital for 99 days, his mom lived 48 days and then we had months of rehab. All because of a car accident. She was my life and our kids were our lives. Ms. William’s, keep stepping! Everyday make some progress even if its baby steps. Laugh a little more, cry a little less, keep moving. You have a bright future ahead of you. Look in the mirror and be proud of YOU! God bless you! You’re in my prayers! Keep stepping!!

  77. Took me a long time. Abused from age 3 – 7. Assaulted at 17. 2 rapes at 18. I also became a mom at 18. Zero self esteem since the early abuse. Married an alcoholic. Lived in hell. My mom was an alcoholic also. They both would give you the shirt off their back in 0 degree weather if they were sober. I dealt with the roller coaster of drunk and sober with both. Could not afford a babysitter, so I was stuck. When my youngest was old enough to be left home alone, I got a divorce. Unfortunately, it was too late. The kids and I all have the emotional scars. Repeated the cycle again. The last was not abusive or alcoholic. He had a drug problem that he had kept hidden from me for a long time. I stayed until he passed at 56 with dementia. What helped me get myself back believe it or not, was watching GH. I was able to conquer my lifelong fears of paranormal and as I got stronger and accepted my gift instead of being afraid, I also got me back. I’m a sensitive. I see spirits all the time. Learning who me is after 50 years and no longer being afraid of all the spirits I have seen. I took my life back and the one I will credit with that is Grant. He has always known what to say to clients to help them overcome their fears and it helped me too. One day at a time.

    1. Congratulations Kris for making that first step. I left a toxic and abusive marriage 26 years ago. I had no job and 2 kids, ages 10 and 16. It was the hardest but best decision I ever made. It was the first time I was actually the only one in charge of my life. It was hard at first, but it was exhilarating. Now here I am 26 years later, married 19 years to a wonderful man and a 17 year old son that I would have not had if I stayed in that toxic relationship. Hang in there, forgive yourself and focus on yourself. It does get better. I am sending yout love, light and healing energy. On to your next journey. Hugs xx

    2. I used to be a hardcore drunk. I went to jail. No felony’s thank goodness. Got beat up. Loved to drink and “ roll the dice and see what happens” kinda thing. I never had a serious girlfriend . Drugs also were a part. My family thought I’d be dead by 30. I put my family through hell. I was kicked out at 23 years old. And from then til I turned 40 I put my family through hell. They worried constantly. But I was so caught up in my selfish ways I did not see it. Or did not want to see it. I went through rehab in 94’ and 96’ all to no avail. When I turned 40 I only weighed 125 lbs and I’m 5’11”. So I quit drinking and drugging. It’s been 8 years since I took my last drink. The reason I’m telling you this I guess is because I had to dig deep into myself and grow up. Quit blaming everybody else for my own bs. And I have never felt better. I’m an Uber Driver now. And I see my old self quite often. I never ever thought I could quit. Nobody else did either. But I did it. You seem like a very strong person. I believe this will workout for you. You can do anything you put your mind to. I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage . Keep your chin up girl. You have a whole new start. And yes it’s a little scary at times but it’s worth it . Hang in there . You will be just fine. Thank you for letting me share.

    3. Well I am no psychic and I don’t know you personally, however, following someone you do get to kind of know them in a sense. I knew you weren’t happy or yourself, I could just tell. Sometimes life just works that way unfortunately. As I read this tonight I was dealing with my son’s dog being hit and killed by a car this evening right in front of him. The inability to help with the pain, the helplessness, sadness, and devastation is horrible. They become like family and losing family is always difficult, even if it is a bad relationship. Nobody wins in the end. I have always admired you, almost had a chance to meet you at the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum when everyone got screwed by that thief. Too bad it didn’t work out. It will always get better and I guess the best we can do is stay positive and rid ourselves of the toxins in our lives. I wish you the best. And yes I would sure like to meet you on one of those ghost hunts! Good luck to you, all the best. Keep your head up and stay strong.

  78. Congratulations Kris! It is a difficult decision to make, but sometimes we have to make them. When you find yourself again, your life will fall into place. One day at a time. Miss seeing you on TV, so maybe you will head that way again!

    1. Hi my name is Debbie
      And this is my story
      I am still not me yet
      but I’m trying
      One of my sister’s cats was rehomed last night 9/11/19. And soon one of mine there is nothing I can do to stop it. As of this past week 9/25/19 one of my cats was rehomed and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I am so heart broken ?
      Once we get our lives back I still need to bring my sister home her ashes are still at the Funeral Home. I had most of it and I did pay $900.00 It was close to $3000. But then the shit hit the fan and I needed to use it for the Motel I had no choice. Her ashes are at
      Shore Point Funeral Home on hwy 35.

      I’m homeless and living at a friend’s house right now I am sleeping on my friends couch it’s better then my car. But I need to find some place else to stay temporarily. All I can say is some of the dogs don’t like me. But my friend has been wonderful
      I don’t know what else to do. I have literally tried everything. I applied for Disability but that is going to take 3 to 5 months to kick in

      My cats are in a rescue I have 3 the oldest is 16. I’m so scared that something will happen to her before we are back together again.
      So I’m begging you to please Donate if you can
      Thank you ?
      These past few yrs have been bad first 2010 my mom passes away she was 88.
      2011 my brother Billy passes away he was 60. 2012 the Sandy Storm hits we lost everything. My sister and I lived with a friend for 3 1/2 yrs. we finally make it back home even though it’s still not 100% done from the Storm. And then I loss my sister the day before her birthday she was 64. my best friend our cats and my world just came crashing down.
      Again I have lost everything.

  79. Sending lots of love and light your way! You are so amazing and strong. It’s not always easy to move foward from a bad situation but you have to take care of you. I can’t wait to see the next chapter of your life. It’s going to be a great one!:)

  80. I’ve still not had a ground zero moment. I’ve had several little moments but I’m still not completely there. Reading your words of wisdom are very inspiring though. Often I’ve found myself wondering is it truely because I’m afraid of change. A big decision should not be taken lightly and I think that is why I am taking a long time to make a decision. With me I’m either all in or all out or thought I was until recently. I’ve been married for 19 years and we’ve been together for 21 years so it’s definitely not something to take lightly. I have been with my husband since we were still in high school. Like you I often feel like I have lost myself and want to get that back. I don’t even know who I ever was because I have been married for most of my life it feels like. I want to wish you well in your future endeavors. Im sorry to hear that its came down to a moment but Im happy to hear that your strong and know that you can overcome things.

  81. Hi Kris,

    I moved away from my family and a career I was building to be a woman I married in 2001. We have a daughter, but she divorced me in 2018. I know I wasn’t a perfect husband, but I also know it takes two in a marriage. So, I’m gradually building from my ground zero. Luckily, my ex and I are on speaking terms. My daughter is the one reason I stay in this area vs moving back to where I grew up or start over some place else. It’s a tough position because I’m 50 and hard to start over at middle age. But, I try. I wish you the best whether you stay in Australia or come back to the States. Keep your chin up.

  82. My ground zero – breast cancer- directly over my heart. A husband who cheated on me during treatment. Left with my then 11 year old daughter. She just turned 15. I have 45 months left to survive since leaving our wonderful country home. When she graduates and goes off on her own, I’m done. It’s all about my kids.

  83. You are one of the most strong willed, energized, highly moral people I have ever met. For many years I have admired the way you broke down walls, worked jobs which seemed insane and let your heart and mind lead you. I envied how you traveled the world and lived a life which only few could. I never imagined you’d be hurt like this. Who could take such an amazing person full of life, outlook, dreams, imagination, drive, talent, and so much more and throw her away.

    I don’t get it.

    I would say I’m happy for you but I’m not. I wish you never had to go through this, it sucks. I also went through it so I know it sucks.

    There is still a part of me which is damaged goods because of it. I hope and pray that you are a bigger person and don’t allow this to kill a part of you.

    A huge difference between us is you have a huge social media following, you can ( and have ) use this to help so many people. You can literally change the world for the better.

    Stay Awesome Kris. You got this, make it yours.

      1. God I really don’t know what to say. I’m just Really sorry that your hurting this much. Throughout my entire life I wish I’ve never been born into this world. Let’s just say I’m the Ashes that’s been born through the ? Fire. I don’t talk much about myself because my story is painful enough. Let’s just say at the age of 16 I had fallen in love with my best friend sister & I couldn’t have her and because I couldn’t stand to see her with another person, well at the age of 18 I singed up for the service and stayed for 25 years, and that’s all I can say. Your Young and extremely beautiful, and it takes a complete idiot to fuck it up. Your Ex fucked up and mark my words.. he lost the best thing in life. I’m sure many Men wished to be in his shoes. Your Young and very beautiful on the inside & the outside. Your very intelligent & extremely witty. You walked away for all the right reasons, but that takes toughness and Courage. Remember something Kris—Many had fallowed you through an entertaining TV Show. Your very charismatic and all the charm in the world. What you lost was an addition through a subtraction.

  84. I just want to say Im so sorry for what you went through but it’s so nice to hear from you! I always loved watching you investigate and wondered where you went! You still are all the fabulous things you were before this snag in the road. You just need to find those things again and start being fabulous YOU again❤

  85. Hi Kris. I keep up with some of your blog posts, but this one really resonated with me because I have been in a long distance relationship for the past three years. He is in Canada so I haven’t gone as far as you have, but even so it’s taken it’s toll. I’ve been there seven times to see him and even spent the past entire summer with him. Like you, I love him, but I often find myself wondering how much I am ignoring and giving up to sustain that love. I have been terrified of stepping out of that situation and moving on. On the one hand I know it may be good for me, but on the other I have built my life around this man for the past few years. In some ways he helped me to become a better person. The prospect of beginning again is like finding out I’m not who I thought I was. As with you, I also put on weight. I gained about 40 pounds since I first met my boyfriend. I have gone through so many difficulties, some with him, some on my own. Change is something I am resistant to, partly out of stubbornness and partly out of fear. It takes a great deal of motion and bravery in one’s life to take a chance on something new and unfamiliar. I’m so glad you shared this experience because it seemed to hit me at the time when I have been considering these things the most. I don’t know what I will end up doing yet, but I do know that I’m slowly becoming less afraid of what might happen if I choose to start fresh.

    Thank you Kris! And best of luck moving forward.

    1. Once I realized how one sided the relationship was – along with other things – my brain started switching on. When you get to the point where the unknown seems like a better option than dealing with the known… it’s time to jump ship.

      Long distance is no joke and unfortunately – if you are with the wrong person – they will use the distance as a scapegoat.

      Good luck to you over there <3

  86. It’s a good thing you’re a tough, R.I. girl. You got this. Lil’ Rhody loves ya!

    1. New Hampshire girl! 🙂 But hell – we are New Englanders. We stick together and are a tough bunch. 🙂

  87. I was in a similar situation but I stayed way longer for the exact same reasons. I lost my self, my joy of life. I did get two wonderful kids though. One day I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. My sister in law shared a picture of me at a family function and I looked miserable. I decided after thinking long and hard I needed out of my marriage. I didn’t want my kids thinking this is how relationships are supposed to be and I knew I deserved better. As soon as I found a job ( was a stay at home mom), I moved out and into my parents house (my ground zero). Rebuilt my life and found myself again along with my voice. My kids immediately noticed how happy I was and commented that they had never seen me so happy. I have now remarried and he lets me be me and have my voice and my kids can see a healthy relationship. After time, their dad and I became friends again and we make sure the kids take center stage instead of our issues.

    Some scars will take time to heal but You will over this and find yourself again.

  88. I spent 20+ years with a good man. But he believed that men were head of the house hold. I had to work full time and really didn’t have a say in finances. I would have the checkbook but would have to ask permission on what to pay to who. Our debt kept climbing so I could never cut back hours to spend time with our daughter. I couldn’t make field trips or games. I got the cold shoulder if I spent an evening out with friends for dinner, even if it was only a couple hours. No girls weekends EVER. He was with me whwn we were not working CONSTANTLY. I slowly became depressed and didn’t know what was actually going on until a friend told me I was two different people. One around my husband and one when he was gone for work. After months of reflection I ended the marriage. We still get along, but I’m happy with who I am. The road to rediscovery was a bumpy one, but the hardest thing is breaking free.

    I have learned:
    * be completely honest with yourself, no matter how painful
    * don’t settle
    * Do what you always wanted to do, no matter how small or insignificant it seems to be.
    * Don’t be afraid to date again. Set your boundaries and stick to them. Do this only after you start finding your happiness. Be honest, and goofy. It’s good to feel loved and appreciated for who you are.

    I’m now happily engaged to an amazing man with two incredible kids. We appreciate each other and put each other first. You will heal. Don’t blame yourself or question why you didn’t leave sooner. THIS is the time you were meant to. You may not have been ready before. Laugh. Love yourself. It’s OK to be mad at him, but don’t let it control you. Because then he still has power over you. Good luck!!

  89. Kris, you are so strong in finally taking that first step. Getting Kris back is more important than ever. You are Loved and You will do this. You have friends and family that have your back. Lean on them. Much Love to You my friend !!!

  90. I found my Voice 5 yrs ago. Ten years of verbal , emotional then finally physical abuse started. I snapped one day and said No enough is enough. It has been hard but everyday gets better. I am no longer a Victim I am a .. Survivor.

  91. In 2014 I took to much meds, and passed out at work. Lucky it was in the safety department and I was attended to immediately. I spent Christmas with my parents that year. They came to see me because I developed anxiety. Eight months later my father passed and six months after that my mother passed. I gained eighty pounds and developed diabetes. It’s been ten months now. I lost thirty pounds and got my sugar under control. I’m still struggling, but I’m not done. My heads still up. You do the same.

  92. August 23rd my husband went to the hospital for what we thought would be a day or two. The next day the doctor told me he had very bad pneumonia and a bacteria in his lungs and had to be put on a ventilator. He also has an inherited liver disease, and it was functioning at a very, very low level. Everything was out of whack, and the doctor told me, “I just don’t know if he’s going to make it. I may have to ask hospice to meet with you soon.” I was shocked but told the doctor that I wouldn’t give up hope until there was absolutely nothing left to hold on to. A little over 2 weeks later they had to do a trach. A few days later his lungs and improved and he was able to come off the ventilator, but has to wear the trach collar for a few more weeks. His liver levels are gradually improving. The nurses and respiratory staff all said it was indeed a miracle; they never believed he would make it. However, now he has amnesia, and they cannot determine exactly why. He doesn’t know me or his family, or himself for that matter. He isn’t able to care for himself and won’t talk. He just started physical therapy and will start speech therapy next week. They have warned me that if therapy doesn’t help, this could be his new baseline. I could let the darkness and depression overwhelm me, but I refuse! That doesn’t help me, nor does it help him. I still maintain that I won’t give up hope until there’s nothing left to hold on to.

  93. You’re a strong woman. This is just a hiccup in a life that deserves much more, happiness. Keep your sights on you and what you need first. Keep smiling. ❤

  94. Kris,
    My ground zero moment happened 11-17-09. I died from anaphylaxis. The doctor was filling out the death certificate when my heart started beating again. From that point on, my eyes began to open to see how truly toxic my marriage of 12 years (at that time) was. Although it took me another 8 years to get up the nerve, find a good job, and money to get out of that marriage. I was married 20 years, 6 1/2 months. I was 2 weeks away from my 43rd birthday when my divorce was final (2-16-18). I’m not gonna lie. It’s tough. It’s scary as hell, and the emotions still hit me in waves. However, my support system, albeit small, has helped me more than I ever imagined.
    You can do this!!!! Don’t give in and go back. The weight can be lost. The finances will work themselves out, and you can recreate yourself. This IS your life!

  95. Hi Kris hang in there every day is a new start and beginning. I thought several years ago that breaking up with my fiancé was one of the most painful things I’ve ever been through Boy I was so wrong. This past May I lost my father who was battling dementia and Parkinson’s for the last three years with this last year being the toughest . Although people say he’s in a better place and he is not hurting anymore the pain I’m feeling is tremendous but I do know every day I wake up it’s a new day. I look back now at my previous engagement and just laugh because I know that it just wasn’t meant to be , and I have learned from the things that I’ve done wrong and that relationship also that has made me a better person . So keep your head up you’ll have some ups and downs but it looks like there’s a lot of people out there you can lean on so don’t hesitate to keep in touch if you want there’s plenty of us out there .

  96. I would love to share my “ground zero” moments, but, unlike you, I am not in a place yet that I could write it all down and not lose my mind! So happy you have arrived at your place! Come back to the States and your fans…back to doing what you love best! Whether it’s paranormal or not… do you! Sending good vibes and smiles your way!

  97. Failure, losses, stupid, low self-esteem, commitment, afraid, forgiving, disappoint. I stayed in a unhealthy, 28 year marriage. How could I leave, fail, rebuild, find me? I first had to work through the loss. I mourned, as if someone had died, even though I left to save my life, from becoming a Lifetime movie if the week. Once, I allowed myself to mourn the loss, my daughter, then, 2o yrs, got pregnant, single mother in the end, decided to go to Univerisiry. I moved and got us a house together, I became fulltime Nana, housekeeper,threw myself into this, like a new job, would feel to others, with zero regret, as she became a fulltime student, working two jobs. Eight years on now, she is 7 months from her Masters. Yes, to others, it may seem, I put my personal life on hold, for her and my grandson, but it was my therapy, my choice, to see her accomplishing her dreams in Education. I feel, I had to take that length of time, to work through 28 years of the garbage, I allowed myself to go through, so I never allowed it to in on my next relationship. Only you know Chris, what will work for you. There is no exact 12 step program, for moving forward, for what you have been through. But, I promise, you will. New doors, new friend, colleagues, adventures will open, and the true friends you have now, along with your family, will be there to support, push, and celebrate, each one.

  98. Wow, Kris!
    First off I’m a father of 3 boys age 23 ,19, and 17 all four years apart (Idk how that happened … four year itch I guess lol) recently my oldest broke up with his girlfriend of more than a few years..now he’s my first son from a previous relationship. In between being able to see him on every visit when he was a child and raising my other son’s. There were times I couldn’t be there as his father like I should’ve been in a healthy relationship…for him to grow up with his Mom and Dad. The problems in our relationship killed it and we separated. He then moved to another city with a girl he’d met and began working and living his life. In a sense he was kind of forced to grow up with responsibilities not really being ready in maturity but thinking he was grown I guess. He felt he was an adult. I was proud and relieved that he was on his feet. So like I said they ended up breaking up…he messed up..which so have I in relationship’s..I’m not proud but things happen. He took it real hard because of how hurt she was and the trauma of the situation led him to believe the only sane thing to do was to take his life to end the pain. Aww man Kris!…. My heart shattered at the news and sink to my belly to hear of his intentions…it took me about a week to convince him that that wasn’t the solution. I’d worried upon hearing of his break up that he might do something or try something idk somewhere I just felt it my heart. I told him over and over that life will beat you only if you let it, that things will happen and sometimes there’s nothing we can do but move on…in reading your story I’m touched, I’m sorry for what you’re going through..it is hard and yea we go back to square one,but life doesn’t end there… sometimes it’s for the best. Besides that he hasn’t even begun to scratch the surface of life. He’d only be robbing those who love and care for him truly by being selfish. I’m moved by your story because it’s almost what I’ve told him again and again..he’s better now and coping with the reality of it and has apologized for even thinking the thought. It’s brought us closer as father and son. You hang in there Kris! I don’t know you personally but I know you’re strong! Hell if you can seek out ghosts and the paranormal you gotta be strong! I’m gonna send him your words of wisdom and encouragement. Thank you Kris for being you…God bless ALWAYS!! Love and respect
    -Cal- Tohono Ootham Nation
    Deep South ,Az….

  99. As a now 45 year old woman, I have been through the emotional wringer. For me, it took the literal death of my emotional and mental abuser to find my voice again. I had to be away from his constant insults to find myself. My piece of advice:Learn to be alone for a while. Definitely do not rush back into a relationship. Learn to love you again, just like we, your fans, love you. I think that once you do that, you will realize that you are not willing to settle for anything less than the best for yourself. Oh, it’s going to be tough, but that’s what you are:tough. Think about it. You’ve taken on ghosts, girl! You’ve went places most of us would be terrified of! And in the dark! You’re tougher than most of the guys you’ve worked with. This is just a temporary setback on a long journey forward.

  100. I’m stepping out on my own after nearly 20 years. I really don’t want to get into details, either – we have a daughter (now an adult), and my ex still lives with, cares for, and helps my mom, for which I am most grateful. It’s scary, yes, but now is the time for rediscovering yourself. You’ve got this. You’ll survive, and persevere.

  101. First if all, I am sorry things didn’t work out. I remember watching your story with this person develope and you seemed very happy in the beginning.

    But as for me I hit complete rock bottom 2.5 years ago. My best friend of 17 years passed away from Melanoma (he was just shirt of 35 years old). During my grief I lost my job and out myself in a strenuous financial situation. It wasn’t until just recently I’ve felt like I have been making real progress in my life. I was still taking steps early in but in the last few months I have moved to an area I want to live in, I am starting a new job this Tuesday that isn’t a fast food job. Things are looking up for me the first time in a while.

    Best of luck in your journey of rebuilding!

  102. When I was 27, I finally got the courage to cut my toxic mentally ill mother out of my life. It was difficult – after years of abuse, I had no idea how to have normal emotions as she had never permitted me to be anything other than “happy”. Mostly I would bottle everything up until I exploded in rage. I was also terrified of running into her, so beyond work, I became somewhat of a recluse. This was no way to live. Over several years, with support of my husband and therapist, I finally learned how to be a normal, truly happy person. I can finally go out with no fear of seeing her. I know how you’re feeling now. Everything is scary and unknown. But girl, YOU GOT THIS. As time goes on, it will get better! You’ve already started the process of healing, which is the most difficult part. Best wishes to you!

  103. Kris, I was in a toxic marriage for 20 years and my rock bottom hit 2 days before Thanksgiving when I found out he had been molesting 2 of our daughters. I reported to oir local sheriff office and they contacted DFS who removed him from the home. Long story short, claims were validated but he was never arrested. Over the past 5 years he has constantly taken me to court trying to break me but I have perservered through it all. My daughter that is still at home continues to struggle even with counseling. I continue to push through every day for my children and grandchildren and some days its hard, almost impossible but we are all getting stronger and healing everyday. Much love to you. Hang in there, you will make it through.

  104. Move in with my family. We don’t have a lot, except lots of understanding and love. My mother died tragically when I was 17. My world and all I love was gone within minutes. My faith is what has always kept me going. From my husband having cancer, struggling with infertility and endless tragic events. Faith will keep you going!

  105. Kris, I feel your pain and that space of beginning all over again. I did that twice in getting away from abusive relationships, the first physical, the second mental. After 2 failed marriages, I took serious stock because I was certain that if I married another abuser, I would be dead the third time. Lots of hard work, self searching while raising a toddler and going to college full time. The rebuild is so very worth it. I married a scientist at an Ivy League university who may be the kindest man on the planet. I’m biased obviously, but kind works for me. But I wouldn’t have given him a chance at one time without that rebuild from scratch phase. So dig in and work it. The other side is amazing.

  106. In 2010, I was working two jobs while my ex was not working at all. We were living with his Gma whom decided that even though I worked these two jobs. I was lazy for not waking up at exactly 7 am one morning. She told my ex this and it went downhill that day. He kicked me out and we have been divorced since 2012. Looking back him and his family verbally and mentally abused me. I am still in a custody battle for my daughters who sadly have to live with him because in my state money talks big. I was 29. I’m now 38. Remarried to a man that loves me and my daughters and happier than I ever was before. You will make it through this. You will be stronger for it.

  107. Kris – I’ve been through 2 divorces, and both were pretty devastating to me. Been layed off from my career a total of 60 months over a 10 year period. Nearly lost everything I “owned” twice. And, as well, in 2015 I suffered 3 heart attacks within 4 days, two of which occurred while in intensive care awaiting heart surgery. Then, a day later, a triple bypass that put me out of work and back to square one for nearly four months. I literally had to fight my way back to better health, went to physical therapy 3 days a week for 3 months, stopped smoking, changed my eating habits, started an exercise program – basically, I started my life over as a different person.

    It is never easy starting over, be it from a bad marriage, death, career change, changes in finances or health, or any other stressful event. And make no mistake, it will NOT be easy. There will be times that it would be easier to just give up and go back to that old “YOU.” But, you’ve gotta know that you are SO MUCH STRONGER and more resilient than you ever imagined. It is waiting, RIGHT THERE, below the surface of your fears, anxiety, and inadequacy. And those things will whisper to you and tell you that you can’t be rid of them – But you CAN! And you WILL!

    “Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn.” You have nothing but time, so make TIME work for you.

    You are STRONG, you are LOVED by so many more than you know, and to your fans, your family, your friends and everyone that knows you – YOU ARE SPECIAL!

    Be the SPECIAL that you know you can be! We’ll ALL be waiting to hear about your next adventure! And we will be praying for you every day until that happens!

  108. You are SO strong!! You have NOT failed! Remember that. It took me years to believe that. So, so much I can say, but it has been said in the above comments. Stay yourself, become yourself…again. love of family, friends and those of us you dont know, are here to listen…to help. Many hugs to you!!

  109. I was in a toxic relationship in my late 20’s. It started out emotional abuse and would have ended up physical had I not gotten out. My advice to you since I’m now in my 50’s is to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again! I had a great support system and I made it through. And remember that none of it is your fault! Life happens and you become a better person because of the stuff you deal with through life. People ask if you had it to do over again, I tell them I wouldn’t be the person I am today without going through the BS I went through! You become anything you want to be now! We’re all proud of you!

  110. I have been in two relationships that were not healthy for me. One was in high school and both he and I were not good for each other. We both battle depression. His due to the chemical imbalance in his body, mine just straight mental. He was also exactly a foot taller than me and quite strong. He would punch brick walls and it barely scratched him. I had major fear that if we stayed together it might eventually lead to him beating me. I thankfully had enough strength and respect for myself to have one gauranteed out. I do NOT DATE CHEATERS. He cheated on me twice! Once I found out I was done. He not only cheated on me but when I asked him to confess he lied right to my face. That was another no-no for me. All who knew me gave me the support to get out of the relationship. The second relationship started out like a dream but then I moved to the middle of nowhere away from my family and friends. He was mentally and emotionally abusive, and in some ways physically abusive. All this and all I had ever done was support his dreams. He and I were supposed to get married but now I am thankful that he broke it off with me and then sent me home to my parents. Unfortunate to him though all the stuff at our apartment that I BROUGHT UP THERE, Came back with me. He had no bed, no dishes, no dressers. All that was mine that I brought up with me, so they came back with me. I have of course since then ended up with the BEST MAN FOR ME. We are happily married and expecting our rainbow baby after the loss of our first baby. Happiness like this is yet to come for you, but it will come. You deserve it. I know you can make it through this especially since I made it through two. You can do this. God will bless you with the happiness and love you deserve.

  111. The best thing about finally walking away from a toxic relationship is being able to find out who you are all over again. Something as simple as figuring out what your favorite song is all over again. Realizing if you want to go somewhere and do something you can. It sucks when you have to start all over, in every way, but the beauty of it is your true friends really emerge, the ones who are right there even if its been a while. You’re going to have to work your ass off, struggle some, but its going to be ok. Cry your eyes out, be angry, start a journal of the whole thing, its ok. You’re human, go see your family again. Just in time to see the leaves change color, stay strong because this is truly when you get to redefine yourself.

  112. Kris, I’m so deeply sorry. I have been where you are twice, more even, because I can count the loving relationships I was in where i wasn’t married. I can tell you what everyone else has, that time will heal your wounded heart, but that’s only because you have your close family and friends. I have none of that. I don’t have any friends anymore and my family is not close to me. This post is not about me though. It’s about you and healing. I know you will Kris because you’re an amazing woman and you have an unbelievable amount of strength. Most importantly, you have an incredibly strong support system. They will help you through this. I have loved you since I first saw you on tv and continued to follow you on Facebook. I wish you the best Kris because you deserve it. You are an amazing woman with so much love to give. I would be honored to be your friend.

  113. You are too much of an awesome person to go through things like that. I pray that you can move on quickly without any type other issues. Stay strong, stay safe and even though you may not know a lot of us, we’ll always be there for you.

  114. I don’t know if I will call it my ground zero, but it’s been almost 5 years that I had my first spinal surgery. I was a very active and athletic person who never really had any problems physically. Most sports and road biking were my thing. Having worked 12 1/2 years as a security guard for Pacific Northwest Ballet/school(PNB) was one of the best jobs I ever had. Watching the children grow into young adults and, at the same time, hoping I made a difference in at least 1 of those students lives was worth more than anything. As time passed, PNB became family. I always said nothing would keep me away including broken legs(I actually worked with a broken collar bone).

    It came on suddenly with no explanation why it happened. After my first surgery I came back to work. 3 months went by and the same issues came back. A few months later a had my 2nd surgery. I called it quits after that. You see, I have spinal stenosis/degenerative discs in my spine. It came on suddenly with no explanation why. That was 4 years ago. The nerve pain and weakness spread to my leg. I have had 5 surgeries so far.

    Sometimes I get in my mind that I am cursed or I deserve it. I ask, “Why me Lord?” But, know I just got to go day to day and persevere. Do not give up. It is a test. God has a plan and I know this. I spent 2 years in a foreign land preaching that. God loves us all.

    Thank you for writing this letter Kris. You have a lot of fans, including myself. Just know you have better things in store for you.

  115. I have been there too. The marriage I finally left was 13 years. I was lucky and had my kids to keep me going but I also had to struggle to find myself while still being a dad and trying to work and keep up a home. Good luck to you in your future plans and congratulations on taking the first step towards finding yourself again and finding your happiness. The best thing about rock bottom is there’s nowhere to go but up.

  116. You are already moving forward. It took me 16 1/2 years to escape my bad marriage. I had been so emotionally beaten down that thought I didn’t deserve to be happy. But I met people that became friends and I learned by their example that I was worth fighting for. You can do this. I know you can because you’ve already done the hardest part. You walked away.

  117. Okay you made the first move for the positive in your life, that in itself is so hard to do. Now may I suggest reading a book called “Women Who Run With The Wolves”. When we choose someone to be in our lives our emotional, mental and spiritual beings need to be on solid ground. Walk within the light and protect yourself from people who don’t.

  118. First, I just want to say, best of luck to you Kris. From the sound of things, you absolutely made the correct decision and truly hope your future will prove that.
    Second, I very much connected with your story as it is similar to my own. I too was in an extremely unhealthy and toxic relationship for years that took its toll on me both mentally and physically. It’s amazing how we find reasons to stick around and stay with someone even when it’s completely obvious that you should walk away immediately. Whether it’s out of love, fear of being alone, or the fear of not knowing if you can afford to be by yourself, we find ways to justify why we need to stick around. For myself… it was many fears that kept me in a terrible relationship. Like many, the first year of our relationship was wonderful. We just clicked, and everything about it felt right. Fast forward a year, and we decide that we should live together. Almost immediately the red flags started showing. Sneakiness, finding unknown substances, lies, and just turning out to be someone different altogether. By then, I was already invested and in so it was too late for me to simply back out as the love for her was already there. As time and years went on, little lies turned into bigger lies, her phone was always protected and she guarded it with her life, even though I never once tried to look through it, (quite frankly the thought was there but I was afraid of what I would find). Unknown substances turned into some pretty heavy dependency issues, all the way up to her fully admitting to cheating on multiple occasions with her Ex… whom I later found out she had ended a relationship with very shortly before I came around. Sadly, her addiction to some pretty nasty chemicals (I word it like that because she got severely hooked on some weird synthetic Russian drug that was supposedly like a mix of Xanax and ecstasy), made the whole situation much worse, as for years I had no clue about it until she was OBVIOUSLY messed up on the stuff. It got so bad that she turned into a zombie who couldn’t walk or talk and this drug would make her extremely compulsive where she would spend all of her and my money on ridiculous things, she would get physically abusive and she would without a care in the world sneak off to her ex again and again and even joke about it to me. Why would I stick around? Well, once again, as I stated above… out of many fears. See, this drug also turned her extremely suicidal. Between her family and myself we had to get her into the suicide wing of the hospital numerous times. She made it very clear that if I were to ever leave her that she would end it all. Which who can have something like that on their hands? I also had fears for myself. She was spending so much of my money I thought I would never be able to make it on my own. I too was the kind of person who jumped from one relationship to another without much time in between. So I just dealt with it all, day in and day out. This eventually lead to me having so much stress that I ended up getting an ulcer. I couldn’t eat anything. I lost so much weight and I was extremely miserable. I woke up every single morning dreading what the day had in store for me. I’m a retail General Manager who works upwards of 70-80 hours a week sometimes, so there was just constant stress 24/7. I tried my best to put on my best face and have everyone believe that everything was right and okay in my life, but it was far from it. Finally… one day I just had enough. I spent an entire weekend watching over her, making threats to end it all, while taking more and more of the garbage she was taking and I just couldn’t do it anymore. So myself and her family agreed, we were going to give her an ultimatum. Either go to rehab (which we’ve been trying to do for a long time), or she wasn’t welcome anymore at her family’s home or ours (she moved into my apartment with me). Once we gave her that, we thought she would make the best choice but she didn’t. She realized that we were sticking to our guns this time so she decided to pack up and leave for the Carolinas, (where her ex recently just moved to). It was extremely hard for me to have left things on that note but to this day I’m glad I did. I of course got a ton of texts and phone calls, but I stuck to it and ignored them all. After time they eventually stopped coming minus a sporadic one here and there, but I was able to finally get away from it all. And for the first time in my adult life (I’m 36 now), I was on my own for a long time, not chasing down some relationship and just focusing 100% on myself, (and my dog of course, who is and always has been my main squeeze). I’ve been a single guy just working hard and trying to do something with my life for the past almost 2 years now. I’ve found that I absolutely can make it on my own, and actually found that I have more money that I can save being on my own. I feel like there is something that truly changes in you once you realize you don’t need someone else to be able to live and survive. A certain confidence you get, knowing that if something isn’t working out, then you can leave and you don’t have to stick around out of fear of the unknown. I’ve also gone on dates and instead of jumping into something like I used to, I’ve been able to spot those red flags and able to say, “sorry, I just don’t think it’s gonna work”. Where before I would just deal with it and hope it gets better. Although it was an extremely tough time in my life, and we all look back and wish we never wasted those important years, i’m glad it happened, as I learned so much about myself and proved to myself that I’m truly okay just being alone, and I can get into a relationship for all the right reasons now. No matter how dark the path may seem, there is always light ahead, and once you get there everything is bright and hopefully you and everyone else who had to go through that dark path, will truly shine! Thanks for the story!

  119. Kris, I walked away from a toxic relationship many years ago I raised 2 kiddos alone no family to support me mentally 17 years after both left the nest I moved forward it’s tough but you are strong and you can do this, come back to the USA ASAP

  120. my ex-husband was probably abusive to me and he was on drugs when I was 27 I got away from him my daughter was three unfortunately when she was 13 he overdosed you’ll never meet your grandson and I think that’s so sad before he got on drugs he was a wonderful person

  121. I’m sorry this happened to you. I learned of the demons that be at a young age. I learned, rose above and moved on with my life. The lessons of life suck!!

  122. As hard as it may seem, You’ve Got This!

    You have already taken the very difficult first steps, the rest of your journey will progressively get easier. Never lose sight of yourself or where you want to be. We are all here for you. Thoughts, prayers and positive vibes headed your way!

    Mike

  123. My story is so similar, but after 17 years of marriage and two awesome sons. It will take time so don’t rush it, but you will find you again and you will love yourself even more than you did before the experience. Best wishes to you on your journey xoxo.

  124. Sending u positive vibes, we’re all with u Kris. U got this ???

  125. 12 Years of a bad marriage. Married at 23, divorced at 35. Pretty much the bottom of my life. She was fooling around, controlling, you know the way it goes. I drifted through my life for a little while. Drank, tried to have relationships that just didn’t go anywhere and now I’m glad they didn’t because not too long after my divorce I met my soulmate. We have been happy now for 15 years and have a better relationship than most people I have ever met! But a relationship is not the be-all and end-all of life, Kris. It’s a platform, a support for your life’s dreams, just as you are a support for your spouse’s. That’s what really makes a good marriage and a very happy life.

  126. Kris,
    I spent 17 yrs with a man I thought loved me unconditionally. Until the day he told me that he thought it would make me happy to be “barefoot and pregnant”. I battled infertility, adopted a beautiful baby boy and after several years did get pregnant. By that time I had earned 2 degrees but not really allowed to work, he preferred me home taking care of the house and kids while he worked 3rd shift 12 hrs each and usually weekends as overtime. I thought he was doing it for a vacation or buying a new car, but no. He told me at the end he dies it because he doesn’t le being home with me or the kids. So I packed our stuff, got a job, slept in my son’s room until we could move. Then he thought he could fight for custody. During this time, I had gained 150+ lbs, lost 100 of that eventually, struggled with self worth, self esteem, depression, anxiety, trying to raise 2 kids as a single mom work no additional support. Im glad you discovered that you are worth so much more sooner than I did. Be true to yourself, raise up and roar like the lioness you are. Much love and light to you.

  127. Starting over is never easy…. be strong…. after 16 years of marriage I had to get out…. moved out of state with my 3 kids…. I had been an at home Mom for 10 years….. so no job no skills… but family and friends were there to keep me focused… I had 3 kiddos counting on me to take care of them and I did the best I could…. now I’m married to a wonderful man who helped me through some tough spots….. my children are all adults and on their own….and have given me 3 beautifully awesome grandkids. I’m looking forward to retirement and enjoying the rest of my life. I wish you all good things… I’ll pray for you and always keep a smile on your beautiful face.

  128. Wishing you the best on your new path forward.

  129. Kris. No. Judgment. Life changes. Change is constant. Come HOME. To New England USA-where you started and became Kris. Hike. Breathe. Rinse. Repeat. Make art. Take a research job. Go offline. We will wait here for you. We love you as you are and ask nothing but happiness for you and not from you. Namaste.

  130. Kris, there are many times I feel that I’m breaking myself. My thoughts keep me in the dark. But I know that as long as I know who I am and have the faintest light in my life that I can make it through the dark. I don’t know much about you but I know you’re strong. You will fight. You will find yourself and you will find your light that will guide you through the dark. In the darkest night the faintest light is blinding.

  131. I have met you in person at the Haunts & Legends in 2015 at Hotel Utica.. We got todo an EVP session inside one of the rooms on the 4th floor, got a selfie, went over pictures I took of the hallway thinking they were orbs – you seemed very outgoing/down to earth, strong and I know you’ll def pull through this!! ?

  132. I was taking care of my handicapped father for 11 years, when he passed away in 2016 my life was completely destroyed. It is a complete rebuild. I still have a lot of work left to do. I’ll be cheering you on.

  133. I remember seeing you on Ghost Hunters and feeling that you were sharp, beautiful and should be married. I only stumbled across you on Social Media within the last few months. I am sorry the marriage you found did not last. Go back to tv …ha!…you seemed happy there.

  134. Hey Kiddo! It sadness me that your dream has vanished. But I am so glad you are rising above and see that you need to move on! I don’t think I ever told you but, I went through two devastating relationships. The first was my wife leaving me and taking my kids away, on the day I opened my shop. I had just taken on a mortgage in Feb, got laid off mid March…she left me on April 1st. When I got home from unpacking at the new shop…I found a note and an empty house. It almost broke me. But it didn’t and I have told this story to the business students at Johnson and Wales for many years. They see my achievement and have learned, the only person that is stopping you…Is You!
    I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. I wish you the best in Life…you deserve it! You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. ^_^

  135. I was with someone that I shouldn’t have been with not once but twice. I was in a short marriage that should never have happened. A lot of people think it was an “Air Force thing”, but it wasn’t. I really thought I was in love with him. He was 9 years older than me. But I had blinders on to a lot things. We split up a week before our one year. I did learn that communication can go a long way if done right. (which wasn’t with ours) But then after we split up, I ended up in another toxic relationship about 2 years later. Those are 2 years I’ll never get back, but I learned I can’t change people. They have to want to change for themselves. But, ironically, if it hadn’t been for those two relationships, I never would have met my now husband. We’ve been married 18 years just last week! Keep your head up and I’ll be rooting for you to find yourself and your way again. Are you moving back to the US?

  136. I’m a 56 yr old woman. My 1st marriage last me with PTSD from the emotional and physical abuse. Never apologize for getting out of a relationship where you have lost yourself. The man I’m with now has literally saved my life when I tried to commit suicide. A good relationship leads you back to yourself not away. I am engaged to this man and I am truly blessed. Life is not perfect and I don’t expect it to be. But having a partner that gives me strength to face each day is amazing. I wish you much happiness and strength to face what’s ahead. Never be ashamed to ask for professional help either such as a therapist. They can be a great asset during a time of personal change.

  137. I’m going through my “ground zero moment” right now. I met a girl that I honestly felt like I could’ve spent the rest of my life with. She was tending bar at a place down the street from where I live. We got to the point where everytime we parted ways, we would give each other a kiss and a hug, and say “I love you ” to each other. In the process, I got to the point where I was drinking every day. She eventually quit working there, but was working part time at another place. I went there 3 or 4 times with the sole intention of spending time with her but ended up running up tabs that I didn’t have the money to pay for, just so I could spend time with her. She ended up covering them, but got to the point where she told me to “Get the F out”. That was about 4-5 months ago, and she hasn’t seen or spoke to me since. I also have not had a drop of alcohol since, and I miss her. I wish I could get her back. 🙁

  138. We’re all just one phone call, one event away from being broken. Sending good thoughts and love your way.

  139. My stomach knotted up a bit reading this. I’m glad you’re ‘breathing’ again. You’re a one of a kind woman & butt kicker. ?

  140. Hi Kris,

    Thankyou for sharing this with us, it’s a huge step to share with anyone.

    Our rock bottom came this year too, forced out of a job so decided to take the leap and move to QLD. I spent 2 months up here while my wife and 4 children were in NSW. it was so scary and upsetting I almost quit a few times. In the end it worked to a point that I got a new job, moved my family up here to start our new life. Money has been a huge struggle, had to sell off so much to make it happen. Financial issues are still ongoing from having to take a less paying job, the job though gives me a better feeling by helping others get into paid employment on off benefits.

    Now that we are here and together, my wife and I can plan together on what we can do to make things better for us. It’s made easier by the fact that QLD is such a beautiful place and living / working so close to Brisbane makes it that much more special.

    Good luck with what your future brings and thank you again for sharing.

  141. Similar Kris, I’ll tell you 3 things my brother told me. He was a minister and helped people through these times constantly.

    I had the same ideals you had. To never give up and he told me, we all deserve to live in peace. With a joyful life we look forward to.

    And then he said,
    Surround yourself with friends and family and those who love you and support you and know you are a good person.

    And he said this, tell yourself this one thing every day. It will get better. And it does.

    I add one one thing. Even when you dont feel like it, be with people having fun. It reminds you of whats to come and lifts your spirit.

    Every life journey comes with lessons. As long as we learn from them, when we close a door, another one always opens.

    Much love Kris

  142. My ground zero moment was a little over 3 years ago when my now ex-husband told me he had basically done something that would put our family’s financial well-being at risk, and his level of care seemed to be near zero at doing it. It was the last straw in a long line of straws. Granted, the events that transpired after I could have, and should have, handled better, but the past is the past, and I’m moving forward. We were married 21 years. Not all of it was bad; not all of it was his fault. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my guilt over causing hearbreak to my kids, but they won’t ever know some of the things he said to me. They don’t need to know that, it would drastically change their view of him, and I don’t want that. So, yes, knowing when to walk brings all kinds of things, you just have to work through them one by one. You’ll get there.

  143. I was in a “relationship” for 5 and a half years. I put quotes around that word for a reason. For that time, that person and I had a lot of fun…going to concerts and other live events. However, he was never “ready” to be official. And I didn’t think enough of myself to leave. Cheating also occured for the entire length. Eventually, I prayed to my higher power to get me out because I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself. And He did! I am still traumatized by crap from that time but I am so much happier now to be free from the version of me that I allowed myself to get twisted into. In a matter of 6 months I had lost my job of 9 years and the person I had planned on marrying. But I started going to a codependency 12-step group, and slowly but surely started to find myself again. We support you, Kris! You deserve nothing but the best! 🙂

  144. December 26,2006 after 26 yrs of marriage, my husband walked out. Didn’t say good bye, or that he never planned on returning. I was 48yrs old, no job, no money but lots of bills, my youngest daughter still in high school, another at home battling addiction & I was helping raise my year old grandson. It was more than a turning point, was a spinning in circles point.
    12 yrs later I am at peace. The road was long & hard but I have my home,family & God.
    My best to you!

  145. Divorce is hard, even being a man. I’ve started over more than once. It makes you stronger. Eventually the right one comes along. You find out what is important, family and friends.

  146. I left my alcoholic and violent husband in 2010. I had to leave him after he strangled me infront of our 9 yr old daughter. He was black out drunk and still denies it.
    I was 43 and had two daughters to care for. Staying in that environment would have taught my girls it’s ok to have a man abuse them.
    We have healed and have become friends and better parents for it. I miss the wonderful times we had, but the drunken abuse outweighed all that.
    I don’t blame myself anymore and I try to forgive him.
    If I would have stayed I may have been lost forever, but I left to find my strength and my true self.
    I will never put my daughters in harms way and I need to be an example for them.
    Kris, I hope you can heal and find the one you can trust and love.

  147. My rock bottom was similar to yours and so many others commenting. At 34 I left a fairly verbally and emotionally abusive relationship after being evicted from our home with 3 children in tow. I had nothing left and had to move back in with my parents. I was embarrassed and humiliated. But over 4 years later I’m stronger and better. I am the mom I always hoped to be for my daughters. Even though I still live in my parent’s home, it has been mutually beneficial for me and them. And especially for my girls. They are happy. And importantly I am happy. So I know you will get through this. It may not seem like it but one day you will wake and just be happy and I’m with everything that happened. Good luck to you and this new journey you are on.

  148. You have a support system that is larger than you know!
    I too hit rock bottom after a brutal revelation that ended up in divorce.
    But that is the wonderful thing about life… you live and you learn. You’ve taken the first step back to YOU!
    You’ve got this!

  149. You’re a strong woman. You’ll get through this, especially with the support of family and friends. It takes strength to recognize when something in your life is not working and when to let go and move on. Wishing you the very best in your future endeavors.

  150. About 5 months ago we lost my oldest brother. 4 days later we lost my mom. A month to the day we lost my sister in law from another brother. Its been especially hard dealing with this as i was the main care giver to my mom the last year of her life. And i always leaned on my oldest brother through any problem that affected our family since our dad passed. And we were all very close to my sister in law. I live with 2 oc my brothers now. I’m their caregiver for alot of things. But we lean and rely on each other alot..havent fully faced it yet. Trying to be strong. Just started going thru my moms things. Its hard, but I’m trying….

  151. Kris, I was married for 10 years from 1996 to 2006. We separated after 7 1/2 years because our fighting woke he kids up in the middle of the night. I had tried to leave him twice before, but he convinced me he would change, that things would get better. Guess what? They didn’t. The verbal and emotional abuse continued. I wanted to hang on. For the sake of marriage, for my kids. But I soon realized that leaving was the best thing. I met my now husband in 2005 (yes, I was still technically married) and he has been the absolute best thing in my life (and my kids, too). We have been together for 14 years and married for 11 1/2. He helped make my dreams come true. Life gets better. You are showing your strength by looking out for yourself. Do not ever doubt you made the right decision. 🙂

  152. Hi Kris, the year was 1990 when I finally realized that after 6yrs of marriage to a man, that I didn’t have to any more. He completely cut me off from all of my friends, I could only see my family if he was with me…but everyone thought he was this fantastic man. I could go to work, and if I went to the grocery he had me timed. He drank, and when alone he would call me every name in the book. I am a strong woman myself, I had no idea how I let this happen, but it did. I divorced him. My friends welcomed me back with open arms only asking what took so long.
    You always have to have trust in a relationship, and I have that now, have for 27yrs ?, but I will never give someone control of my life ever again….
    I’m so happy that you are taking your life back…stand tall woman, you have a hell of a strong backbone xx

  153. When I lost my job in Italy I couldn’t get not even a job interview in 8 months! I felt like buried alive…but then I’ve found the strenght to start again abroad in Nederland and suddenly everything happened as in a movie! In few weeks I’ve found house and a job in this great country! Sometimes we just need to make the first step…

    1. Hi Kris….I can relate to the “marriage is forever” and a lot of your other comments. I thought the same. My first marriage was when I was barely 18. The 3 years we were married we were probably under the same roof for 10 months. I left 6 times and went back 5….That was when I met my husband of 46 years. We only knew each other 5 months! (and they said it wouldn’t last)…Just trying to say that you will get thru this, and someone is destined to be your soulmate, just not that guy. My mom was married many times. Her generation would never live with someone without being married. She once told me,” when you can’t live with ’em and you can’t live without ’em, you live without ’em….I think she was right.

  154. Never look back or regret just move forward all you can do. I’ve been there myself starting over at 38 I have been happily married 12 yrs to my second wife.

  155. Unhealthy relationships that take you away from your family and friends are super toxic. Been there, done that. I am so glad that you were able to recognize that and take your life back. You got through the hardest part, leaving. Now you can start over. Think of that time as a very long lesson. It will make you stronger and make better choices for yourself in the long run. The best thing about that is you didn’t have a connection with him with children. It makes it so much harder to get away from the toxicity when you have to co-parent with them. I 100% believe that you will get back into something that you love and are passionate about. I can think of two people that would absolutely love to help you get your groove back work-wise. You come from a great family and I’m sure they are more than willing to help you get the old you back on track. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. Weight gain sucks and it’s hard to get into a healthy pattern to get where you want to be, but it takes time. I lost a bunch of weight before and some family drama happened and I gained it all back plus more and it’s very upsetting. I’m trying to get my mind back into that “determined zone” to lose it. It’s hard sometimes but it will happen, and it will happen for you as well. It’s autumn, the season of change. Now go get em girl. You got this!

  156. Oh Kris, this new breaks my heart, but from someone who has experienced a similar life changing event (34 years ago) as you are going through I can promise you that to shall pass.

    I have followed you for sometime as I am like many followers who first met you on GH and GHI. I recognize that you have a bright spirit and people are drawn to you (even the bad ones ?) and along with your wonderful family this community of people will help nurture you back to to the your natural born grit.

    I don’t like to give advise but my life experiences prove that if try very hard to forgive him and also forgive yourself is a step to putting this all behind you so that you can take-off and move forward.

    I have have also learned that many times what I want is not always what I need. Don’t worry about what you have lost lost, it’s just stuff. Focus on what you have and you will find love again and you will rebound stronger than you will ever imagined.

    Through the years I read your posts enough to know you have a universe of people that are cheering you on. So now it is time to Rise-up and Go get em girl. ?

  157. Breathe and listen to The Beatles. The heart is amazingly resilient. Keep moving forward.

    1. God bless, be strong, hold your head up. Work on you. Doing what i was doing, i lost my identity, and it took sometime, to do me. Don’t be in a rush everything will come in time. I had to learn to love and trust. Life is love, love is life. You’re awesome. Keep trudging forward. Much love to you.

  158. Hi kris, there is light at the end of the tunnel and that’s what I keep telling my self as I suffer with mental illness. You are a very strong woman and hope the best for your future x

  159. I got married, became a mom and divorced in less than 3 years. I was 25 years old when I decided enough was enough and I opened my eyes to what everyone else saw in my ex. He was a horrible person and emotionally abused me. It took me a long time to find love again but finally know what true love really is. What I learned from that relationship was that I was too nice and gave him more chances than I should have. So glad you did what you had to do for yourself and best of luck to you!!!

  160. Life is never easy. We make choices and sometimes need a reset. I’ve made my choices to make the lives of my kids and grandkids better. Being there for them was my choice but I learned to stand up to his crap. Still standing tall while making sure my autistic grandson is well cared for while his single mom works shift work. Stand tall and keep pushing forward. I’m rooting for you. ???

  161. Good for you honey! You deserve to be happy! My down fall started back in June when I was having problems with my hands. Pain, stiff, very tired. Well found out Thursday at 48 yrs old I have RA. Its painful and Im not excited about the treatment but come Monday I will start regaining my life back. Thank God for my family, friends and my husband. Without them Id be lost. Have to put off buying a house but I guess my health comes first. It has been and will be a struggle but I will win this and I will get my life back. Thanks for your encouraging words! We just have to pray and keep the faith!

  162. Much like you, I held on due to a sense of dedication that my father had taught me, marriage takes work, stay for your child, etc etc etc…….had money problems, had enough to pay the mortgage, bills etc and feed the dog and cat but not enough for myself, like you I had the support of my sister and friends, SO, I laid low for a year, gathered my thoughts, saved money, stayed in my home town where everything was familiar, stayed in my job and after 2 years meet an amazing women who I am still very happily married to to this day. Just writing about your life circumstance and putting it out there leads me to believe that you are one heck of a strong women who will gather herself together with the help of her family and friends and in time will be just fine, stay strong and don’t lose sight of your life goals.

  163. Kris: Fortunately (or not) all my ground zero moments occurred before or when I was 17. My mother was killed in a car accident when I was 6 yo. My father remarried to a poor stepmother with a son that was a pedofile. The next 11 years of my life were a living hell. When I graduated from high school at 17 yo, I had fallen in love with the girl of my dreams. That summer I left home to go to a training program for three months. While at the training program, that “girl of my dreams” left home with some guy. I was broken hearted.

    Then …

    On a day of the last month of the training program I received a phone call from “my girl.” She was at the bus station in the town where I was located. Leaving home with this guy had not worked out for her. She returned to the only guy that truly loved and cared for her. The following year we were married. in 2020, we will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. We have three happily married children and 6 grandchildren. We have had a wonderful life since we got back together. Those 17 years of hell taught me patience. Patience to wait for that moment when all things turn around. Then I learned self-worth and a realization that things would turn around.

    Hang in there. Things will turn around.

  164. You’re amazing Kris! I’m still pulling myself off the bottom. I’m 23 and I went to college at 18 because I didn’t know I had other options and I completely lost myself. I spent 5 years in a place I knew I didn’t belong just trying to get by. I was not proud of who I turned into and I turned to habits I never imagined. Believe it or not, the paranormal has a major role in helping me as I’ve regained my childhood interest. I spent 7 months completely lost and stuck and I’m finally getting me back. Hang in there Kris. I’ve been there too and I can finally, confidently say it does get better.

  165. Ground Zero for me was walking away from a 15 year relationship that was physically abusive, emotionally abuse and sexually abusive. We had a kid together that’s why I tried so long. My own daughter said please break up! My ex even took the spark plugs out of my car so I couldn’t go to nursing school! Got there anyway and graduated. Started out with a mobile home but it was peaceful and I felt alive again girlee! Thanks for putting it out there. Hugs! U got this!

  166. I love you, lady!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ I’ve missed you and I’m so glad to have you back! ♥️♥️♥️

  167. Get the help you need, cause you will need it. I lost it all and the feeling that you have is hurtful but I did get help and I had to go see a psychologist and a psychiatrist while I fought the pain and I’m still fighting the pain but life is so good again and that’s all that counts

  168. It is truly his loss!! The lowest moment that I’ve ever pulled myself up from is when my first marriage failed. She had cheated on me numerous times & left me for someone she had met on the job, she never told me that there was someone else. Just one day out of the blue she told me she wanted a divorce & the next day I found out she had moved in with the guy & was pregnant with his child. Like in your experience is gave up everything for her, family, friends, career, myself. It took years or busting my ass to get my life back together & recover from the financial hit of the divorce but even longer to recover from the emotional & mental part of it, she was narcissistic & made me to believe that everything was on me & my fault. I know that you don’t know me but it sounds like we’ve been through somewhat similar situations & I’m here if you need/want a friend

  169. My ground zero moment was in 2018 at the age of 56 I had watched my mom battle ovarian cancer for 6 years man she fought hard. Then the moment we dreded hearing the dr say “its spread to the brain” I then seen the fighting spirit she had slowly fade away. My step dad who had taken such good care of her also seem to lose himself he ended up on life support and passed away within 3 months of the news. I pretty much was on my own then as far as her care provider. I lost my brother to suicide in 2006 and my real dad in 2010 my kids had their full time jobs and my husband was having heart issues so I was trying to care for her and him. Hospice was wonderful but theycannot be there 24 /7. A neighbor of my parents was all I had and my parents trusted her but as I found out in the end thier trust was not fullproof. She was stealing my moms morphine and valuables (found out after my mom passed away) although my mom and step dad didnt have much. So for 8 mos I did the best I could traveling 2 hours round trip to be with her I made sure she had everything she needed. But throughout this time I lost my physical and mental health. The last month of her life I moved her into a nice 4 bedroom hospice care facility best move I could have made. Teresa was awesome she took such good care of my mom even though mom wanted to die at home she knew I was only looking out for her best intrest. Going back to 2 days before we moved her she was sleeping and I was there aline with her the livingroom mirror all of the sudden started to shake violently I wasnt afraid I knew it was my step dad he wasnt happy about me moving her. I talked to him I tild him mom couldn’t stay there anymore and I had to get her into a place that coukd take care of her. The mirror stopped shaking and I knew he wasn’t happy but understood. I lost her in August and was with her when she took her last breath. She coukdnt talk or open her eyes but she could here me it was the most sureal thing I have ever been through. Fast forward to now its been a struggke for me to get back to living again that being said I really haven’t grieved I am at peace knowing she isnt suffering but my mental and physical health problems were and are still plaguing me. I am trying to get myself back little by little. I want to enjoy life she would want that. Lesson learned take care of me no matter what this has been life changing for sure. My husbands health is bad he might not be around much longer but this time I will not let me get lost in the process. Prayers for you Kris

    1. Kris you are a very strong woman, I really don’t know if I could have written a letter as you have. I’m just recently separated as well and had to start from scratch. 100% but you know it’s teally not that bad, I found an apartment with fridge and stove slowly getting things needed heck the first couple nights I slept on a hard wood floor. With friends and family helping I slowly regained most of the important things needed. My ground zero started before the separation when I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks due to severe depression but once again through time I regained what was important to me , my sanity, myself. Peace and quiet, do as I please whenever I want and how I want. You’ve got this girl , you are STRONG and nothing will hold you back to getting yourself where you need to be. Stay confident I PROMISE IT WILL ALL WORK OUT IN THE END

  170. Kris,
    I completely understand what you are going through. I applaud you for finally taking that leap and deciding a relationship, a bad one at that, is not worth loosing yourself for. I’ve been there. I may not have moved half way across the world but I sacrificed a lot as well. Friends, family, I alienated a lot of people for my bad relationship. I’ll tell you the truth. When it ended for me, I thought I was going to die. I had put everything into that relationship, everything I had and everything I was. I lost me in the process. I didn’t see that until a year later. I had changed and not for the good. I was reserved, hidden, invisible, I didn’t know who I was anymore. He had mentally tore me down so far, I didn’t know how to get myself back. It’s been 8 years since the split and I’m still on a rediscovery of what I’m capable of. A part of me will never be the same because I learned from that relationship and I’ll never let a guy define me the way he did. I used to be soft spoken and never stood up for myself but I have found my voice, finally. I struggle some days and doubt myself but then I remember where the state I was in and where I’ve come from since then. It won’t be easy but you are a strong woman. You will have days you struggle, just remember you have a wonderful journey ahead that will bring you hope for better days. I’ll pray for you while you are on this journey. I know wonderful things are headed your way. God Bless!

  171. Kris,

    I am happy to see that you are now free and trust me, you will survive this.

    My story is different but it also is about surviving.

    My story started in 1998, when online dating just started. We always joked that we were the pioneers of internet dating. We met through a new program called ICQ (Iseekyou).
    We chatted first and then spoke via phone. I was in the Netherlands ?? and she was in the United States ??.
    After 2 years I came and visit, love at first sight. She came to Holland and we got married in 2001.
    Our marriage was great until 2007. She unfortunately had undiagnosed diabetes and she had to have a quadruple bypass at the early age of 40. She almost passed away during surgery.
    She came back home and her son was spiraling down with drugs. We tried to get him to rehab twice but never recovered.
    My wife’s health declined with dialysis, amputations and after our last 7 day cruise she passed away still unexpectedly.
    It is hard to explain how big the emptiness is and the hardest part was to cut ties with her mom and her son since they were mentally out of control.
    Long story short, I got remarried with a nurse and we found out later that she had taken care of my late spouse and created a bond. We both felt that she had purposely brought us together.
    There were times After she passed I was wanting to move back home, had suicide thought ? but eventually everything worked out.
    On a side note we really loved the original ghost hunters and me and my late wife actually met you in Sai t Augustine and that was something I will never forget, we were so excited.
    Keep your head up, you are a strong human being and this is all a learning experience.
    Get up and dust yourself off and move on!!!

    If you need anything at all, I mean it, please do not hesitate to contact me.

    Ron

  172. I’m very sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that.. Not to worry you will be successful in everything you do. I hadn’t gone through the extensive changes you had, but I had sacrificed for my family that I thought was always there. When my grandmother and stepdad passed way. I went through things that I should’ve never had to go through. I stayed for my mom and all she did was manipulative taking my money and saying that I was not going anywhere and so on. I got into a really bad depression after I got into a really bad car accident and had to give up my career as a deputy and correctional officer. I was so lost and nearly was broken emotionally. After I got my settlement I listened to a great friend and he said that I have to leave and live again because I was dying inside and everyone was so concerned. I took my chance and left with a car full of things to New Hampshire. Six months after I moved I was doing a ghost hunting with my new friends and I had needed some gas when I visited my mom. That night I was getting the worst txt messages and it continued for a week with a couple of her friends messaging me saying all kinds of horrible and untrue things. I just shut down and I didn’t know what to do. My friends basically just said that I had done more than enough to be there for my mom and that that is not normal and not healthy. I apologize for the long comment but long story short since I’ve made some changes in my life and moving back to my home state and cutting my ties with some family and poison I was living for so many years. I totally got a new career and way happier probably the happiest I have ever been in a long time.

    Thank you for reading and sharing your experiences with us.
    Alston

  173. Kris I first started following you when you were on Ghost Hunters as I am sure most have..I looked forward to seeing your live chats as you were always one who was infectious about living and loving life:You were always one who never hesitated to speak your mind and it was refreshing:I am saddened to hear that your life has taken a substantial hit however while I do not know you I suspect from what I have seen on twitter and your stint on Ghosthunters you will be back stronger and resilient as ever..I am a alcoholic and I have not touched a drop in 9 years..I am blessed to have a family and church family who helped me get back on the path I needed to be on..I will spare you the details but I now substitute teach and also from time to time step into the pulpit as Lay Speaker and speak on Sundays whenever a Pastor needs that Sunday off..You have this Kris..Chin up..Eyes forward do not look back that part of the chapter in your life is now closed!

  174. Kris, your story mimics mine and was the hardest thing.
    Married: 2003
    Separated: 2004
    Due to finances stayed separated till 2015.
    Divorced: 2015
    Now you can imagine the fright, the embarrassment, the feeling of failure, etc. Now? Im back in NH where I grew up. Yes, im alone but so much better that i was all those years.
    -❤ ya Kris!

  175. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first. It may feel wrong sometimes, but it may also be the thing that saves you in the end. Stay strong and much love Kris.

  176. I have heard many times you have to go through a bad relationship to get to the right one. I am sure the right one isn’t even on your mind. I hope to see you again on Ghost Hunters. I honestly enjoy the reruns more than the new ones. I still watch but just prefer the past ones. I wish you nothing but happiness.

  177. I was in my late 20s and sick of being lied to by my husband. I left him. Fast forward to 4 years ago….came out to Oregon for work from Florida. loved it. Was sick of being in a damaging relationship. made the decision to leave him, my extended family and drove to Oregon from Florida by myself. this was age 39. I can say I’m much happier. meet my husband and now looking to buy our first home. You will create the new Kris and I wish you nothing but good luck. You got this

  178. Hi Kris. So sorry to hear all this. You are such an awesome Lady. You will make it. I am in the same boat as you (almost carbon copy) so not much to tell at all. I still have Family, friends, and my dog. Could be worse I guess. I’ll live and I know will you too. You are smart, strong, and have a huge heart. Hey? Maybe you can start your own show, call it ‘Ass Hunters:)’ Just kidding.
    Please let us know how you are doing from time to time. You have some major fans rooting for you. Well, I’m not any good at this so I don’t know what else to say. Anywho, take care of yourself. You are first, everything else can wait.

  179. My ground zero moment was not because I lost who I was but who I wanted to be. A mother. I was 32.

    Due to more than one reason my husband I are unable to have children. And we knew that adoption wasn’t for us. That was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Having to let go of how I thought my future SHOULD HAVE been and letting it become what it was GOING to be was a tough road to follow. Now at almost 40, some days I’m still sad/depressed about what I don’t have but I have moved on to the new future that I wouldn’t have had if I had been able to have children.

  180. Kris, this is so beautifully written, and so incredibly true. My breaking point/breakthrough was earlier this year-end of April to be exact-when I finally had my breakdown. It was a long time coming and once it came, I literally became a walking panic attack. I felt every emotion that you could possibly think of and some you hopefully can’t imagine. Thankfully I have an amazing support system and was able to get the help I needed. But 6 months of not working takes its toll on everything, and I am probably going to lose my car. So while I have made great strides, I know I have a long way to go.
    My biggest lesson from all this is that it’s okay to be terrified and excruciatingly vulnerable. Because not exposing and dealing with old wounds and scars leads to where I was not so long ago. Be vulnerable, be scared, be not in control and be not ok. As you said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Though it’s not always as close as we’d like, it is there, and you will reach it. Sometimes life forces you to slow down and take a look at yourself and all your demons. While it’s incredibly hard (which doesn’t even begin to describe it), just remember that one day you’ll be able to say that you danced with the devil and survived.
    And no one is ever alone in this thing called life. There are people out there who care about you and want you here. Even if you don’t know them ❤️

  181. From my personal experience, I can only tell you that sometimes leaving really is the only solution. I’m happy for you and I send you my best wishes on this next stage in your life. It won’t be easy, at times, but stay strong and it will be worth it. It was for me.

  182. I got divorced when I was 30 and gained custody of my then 6 yr old daughter. Yes, I’m her father and that seems backwards by normal standards but that’s how bad the situation was. I was ever so grateful and it got me out of the funk that came with divorce. She’s grown into a fine young woman with a child of her own now. It doesn’t have to be a child, but find something to redirect your emotions and life, possibly your art. You can overcome this. Not an easy thing to go through but you can get back the “old” Kris.

  183. Kris,my heart goes out to you. Ive been through the pain of a divorce that wasnt my fault. I was beyond devistated. I understand and Im sorry for the hurt that youre dealing with. Im currently dealing with a medical issue that taken the last 2 years of my life from me. If my story would help you,I would be happy to share it with you. Its kind of a long one,but Ive never given up no matter how dark things have been. My name is James Bartlett Jr. You can find me on Facebook,or you can call or text me any time 860-324-6349. If you can gain strength or insight from anything Ive been through,Im glad to be here for you.

  184. Hey Kris,
    Congrats on your new start…as hard as it is to move on, it will be the single most important step to take your life back. I’ve recently gone through a big “oh shit” moment in my life specifically in my life as a wife( and mom). I’m working on getting back to whoever I am since I lost that so long ago. If you ever find yourself in Toronto again, let me know if you need a dinner buddy. Take care of yourself.

    Aleks

  185. Chris that is an incredibly powerful and life changing step you have taken, although you don’t know me I have followed your career since GH days and you have always been a strong person and I have no doubt that strong character and spirit is what has gotten you through this journey so far no matter how silenced or lost you may have felt. I was also someone who didn’t want to give up when I married the first time but was blind sided by someone who ultimately was only interested in the financial and physical possessions I could give her and eventually a child at which point all interest in me as a person ceased and I was cut off from any emotional connection behind closed doors but would see a different person when friends were around. Getting out from under that was incredibly hard and I blamed myself for years until I eventually got to a point in my life were I questioned everything that had happened to me and I said to myself and the world I deserve better than this and I won’t accept anything less than exactly what I want in a partner and I was blessed to find her and we have now been married for 11 years and it has been amazing. I truly believe that once you have had time to grieve and heal if you decide to try again the person who will add to and imbelish your life is out there.

  186. I left an abusive on many levels relationship after 10 years, 4 friends from high school made it possible. I have been true my blessed to have them in my life for well a very long time! A very supportive family and now a msn that is everything a man should be. I know you will find what you need to ride this out and become a much stronger person, blessed be!

  187. Congratulations on mustering the courage and determination to step out, step away, and step into your future! Suffice it to say I have been there and done that. THE healthiest thing I did in the process was to employ a good therapist to help me work through my baggage and get to know the “me” underneath the woman who had given up so much of herself. Identifying one’s true self, in healthy ways, is fulfilling and a guide along the way help me avoid deluding myself when facing uncomfortable truths. Go for it gal… and I hope you will find the perfect coach for your journey!

  188. Mine started 3years ago Kris. I had to go in to the hospital for a spinal abscess. It couldn’t be cured by antibiotics so I had surgery. I had 2lumbar vertebrae removed, the abscess removed inside my spine, a shunt of bone put in to replace them, and titanium rods put in to stabilize the spine. After that I realized some of my motor functions were not the same. I have never had much of a life. I have played keyboards. I worked in mfg at IBM for 37 years but got laid off and did get back in but had to work nights for 2 years.
    I never married. Our family was broken.
    Now I use a wheelchair and crutches. So I don’t have much hope. I’m glad you are going to work your way back.

  189. I am so proud of you. So proud of your honesty and willingness to share as you grow. I’ve missed you. We met once at a meet and great in Pittsburgh. You and Amy were sweet and warm to my nerdy 13 year old daughter and sealed your part in my life because of it. You will come back to the you that was lost, I have faith in that. Looking forward to seeing you again soon.

  190. My lowest moment was in 2001 dec 23 my fiancé called off our wedding which was 3 months away.. with no true explanation at all..” I’m not ready she said , you didn’t make me a better person “.. I did everything I could for her , she asked me to move in 3weeks before this to no less.. I could see more then she was telling me and she had cheated on me the week before with a married co-worker.. she never act admitted to it but never denied it.. I loved her more then anything in my life at that point and by the 2nd of January she was out of my life and never talked to me again.. never got closer or a true answer.. I was crushed. Lost 15 pounds , had random breakdowns.. I just wanted to know what happened.. I never did find out why… but after time I found my wife and have amazing son.. it still hurts when I think about it. Even after all this time…

  191. I was 42 when I left a very one sided bad marriage. I moved into my motor home that was parked on my parents property. I was completely lost, all I ever wanted was to be a husband and father. Shortly after, my Dad got his terminal diagnosis. He asked me to stay and take care of the property so they could stay. I then had a new purpose in life. I built a house for myself on the second story of their barn where I still live today. My Dad has been gone for a year and a half now. I am here taking care of the farm and my Mother, just as my Dad asked. I am so glad that I had that extra time to spend with him and still spending with my Mom. New life with new purpose! I haven’t jumped back into the dating pool yet but I will. I am happier and more content now then I have been in 20 years. So hang in there Kris!

  192. Hey Kris,

    I’ve been a fan/ follower for years, and all I have to say is that everything will be ok. Change is hard, we endure things for a LONG time to avoid it. I just hopethat when you move from this that you’ll take care of YOU, instead of someone or something else first. It’s a hard thing to learn when you haven’t put yourself first for a long time.
    I’m going through something similar, Dr. Seuss calls it the “Waiting Place,” but I call it a mid-life crisis. I know I’m going to be ok though. Life is freaking hard sometimes but in the end, we can get through it if we move.
    Here’s to moving out of the Waiting Place 🙂

  193. Admire you !! Am routing for you !! You got this !!! Keep that head up an keep going forward !! Hugs !!!!

  194. Come back to ghost hunting Kris!! With Jason Steve and tango on their new show!

  195. I’m going through the exact same thing. Was with my ex for over 5 years. The last 3 were awful. I was afraid to leave our marriage because I had lost myself. He controlled me in a way no one else saw. I lost so many friends. Coming back home was the best thing for me. I’ve reconnected with old friends and found a new support system. I wish you all the best of luck finding yourself again. It is the best feeling in the world when you do!

  196. I’m sorry to hear all the pain you went through but I’m happy that you’re fighting back! Recently, my doctor informed me that I was on track to develop cirrhosis. Between this and other issues, my health plummeted, I struggled to go back to university, and I had no means of income. The VA started cutting my benefits, which interferes with my medication. With no money, no food, declining health, and no support, I felt powerless. I felt like there was one option left: the most extreme. Thankfully, I tried to fight back once more. I reached out to friends, family, and opened up about everything that happened. I felt weak, exposed, and disgraced. Because of their love and motivation, I’m working to get back to school, have multiple job opportunities with promising results lined up, and have a stronger support network than ever before. Sometimes, one second is all we need to get back up and fight harder. One more second and we can breathe. I’m glad to see you got one more second and you’re coming back stronger!

  197. Glad you’re back and ok. Sure miss seeing you.

  198. Hi Kris. Sorry to hear about your marriage, but glad to hear you recognized enough is enough. Life is way to short to be unhappy or around people who dont deserve your time. Im sure your new chapter will be even better and more importantly. Be wht you need in your life right now.

  199. Wow. Good for you, Kris. I’m sorry the marriage did not work out. I am ecstatic Kris Williams is taking a hard, but positive stand to go forth and positively affect your future. It’s gonna be tough. You can handle it. No one failed here. Shit happens. See you down the trail, pilgrim.

  200. Hi Kris. Firstly, I’m sorry for you have been through. You are one strong woman! Challenges lie ahead but you have taken the first step, and that one was a doozy. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other making forward progress.
    I stayed with my first husband way longer than I should have (15 years) for all the same reasons you did. The one good thing he did for me was give me my beautiful daughter, who I raised on my own. I lived in a small town at the time and had a great support system there. I also had a very loving and supportive family. I leaned on them all a lot, reached out for help of any kind when I needed to. I encourage you to do the same. Let your people love on you as much as you need them to.

    Take as much time for yourself as you can. Please don’t jump into another relationship too fast. I did that and it’s yet another regret on my long list.
    Get to know Kris again.

    I hope something I have shared with you will be helpful. I will be praying for strength and wisdom for you as you make your way through the maze.

  201. be safe

  202. Much respect and support to you. Life is a journey and an adventure with dark turns at times. Rise up!

  203. Sorry Kris and although I don’t know you personally you seem like a strong woman who will be able to build your life back and be successful in life. Wish you nothing but the best

  204. Hi Kris,
    I have been thru a lousy divorce and had to raise my 2 children alone. Having been where you are now,I know what your going thru. My ex wife was/is a drug addict and left to run with a bad crowd. I had to keep it together for my kids and now I am proud to say that they are doing great.
    My son is a Marine serving in Okinawa, and my daughter is going to college in Nashville.
    You’ll get through this point in your life and come out stronger for it.
    I have faith in you…
    Your fan and friend …..Jim

  205. Rock bottom is not a generically describable thing. It takes the form of the most personal estimation of what failure is. I hit mine lying on the floor of my 2 year olds bedroom floor as I tried to sing her to sleep. I was battling life, being a husband and father who had no confidence in what he was doing. I was battling PTSD and I was battling being a victim. I was ashamed and a failure in my eyes. I had a fight on my hands. One that I could not afford to lose and I didn’t lose. Some cosmic miracle brought me into contact with people who would support me and guide me and care for me. Some would say I deserved these people in my life . I don’t know. I didn’t think I did. But I did. We all do. Kris, I’ve suspected you’ve been struggling and your recent period at home in Mass. confirmed it. A person with the energy and creativity you obviously have will only be low for a short time. Seek out the ones now who support you and have always supported you. But also open yourself to the ones who can come into your life and bring change. If you see rock bottom and you know it then you’ll never be any lower in your life again. And that’s a great place to start.

  206. Kris you are a very strong woman, you will survive and conquer!!
    My lowest point was at 45 deciding to leave all my friends and family in Massachusetts and move to Bowie Maryland for a man I had been with on and off for 18 years. I left everything I knew on his promise. Only to get down there to no job almost no place to live. Then came the lies and secrets. I hit my lowest and Contemplated my life. I gave myself a goal to survive 6 months and I did. In OCT it will be a year. We have worked through alot but it is still my gamble everyday. I look to my friends for strength and they are there for me. Know you have people that believe in you and you will survive . Big hugs . I still remember having dinner with you at MT Washington and meeting your family. Those amazing people will pull you through. ❤

  207. You are strong and will make it thru this. I was in an abusive relationship and I stupidly thought I could change him . Then I met someone that I thought wa the answer to my prayers. He turned out to be an abuser too. Once again I stuck it out. Only that time I was glad I did. We went to counselling and he did a 180. I was beside him when he died. We had 32 years together. My first husband also has passed. I’m happy being me now. I’m learning how to go places by myself and not feel like the odd man out. I still carry the scars – both mentally and physically, but I’m good with that. I’m proud of those scars. They helped make me who I am. Someone who can look in the mirror and see a strong independent woman. You’ll make it!!!!

  208. My husband of 24 years passed away last year. I will never get my old self back again. I am a different person now. Losing half of yourself, your best friend, your partner in crime is one of the most devastating things that has ever happened to me. My children will never be the same. Our grandchildren will never know how wonderful their Grandpa was. He was only 44 years old. He spent 24 days in the hospital after a hemorrhagic stroke. He was getting better then boom, dead. I’ve had to become Mon and Dad. I’ve had to overcome all my anxieties that I use to have. I still have some but I’m getting better. I’m still heartbroken but I’m doing better. I’ll never get over it but some how, with my awesome family, I’ll get through it. I’ve lost friends and family that I thought would be the ones to help me through this devastation. They disappeared. Those that are left, those that picked me up when I could not stand, are my saving grace. Dealing with day to day life without my sweetheart is harder then anyone ever thinks it could be then the big days come and knock you on your ass but you get up, dust yourself off and get back to it. It sucks. It’s so hard. I’m slowly finding my new me. I’m slowing finding out how strong I can be, what I can do that I thought I could never do. Whatever life deals you, you can find your way through. It will suck, it will be so hard but you do it because you have to.

  209. Thirteen years ago, i ended s relationship that introduced the lives of my life, my children, but the person i was with put no effort into the relationship and couldn’t believe that i had stayed faithful. I had to get out, my relationship with my children is stronger than ever and continues to grow. Stay strong, know that your fans live you. Wish the best for you, and know you will land on your feet and be a stronger person

  210. You are an amazing person. I have always loved everything about you and the things you do. Mabey livivng though you a little. Your travels your art even your cake’s that are awesome. I have driven a semi for many years not feeling good about having a relationship could not leave my lovef one’s at home while on the road. So my life has always been alone and that can be so hard. But watching amazing people like you on t.v. and online does give my a quiet peace of mind. So when I could not work anymore do to fibromyalgia pain I moved in to Veterans housing and meet an 78 year old Veteran that was dying alone so we got a place together and I will make sure he is not alone. I know someday i will find true love and a wife but I do not look are go out to places to find someone when it happens you really know it is right. You are so awesome

  211. I too divorced from a very bad relationship with 2 small children and no job. It was the worst time in my life. You will get through it, we all know how strong you are. 🙂

    My start of getting back to me was going back to college. I was always told I’d never make it or I’d give up before finishing. I started using that to my advantage instead of letting it hold me back. I not only finished but I ended up with 2 degrees instead of one and a great job. I’m not going to lie it was super hard but most worthwhile things are.
    We all make mistakes, it’s part of being human. Keep your chin up and start doing you. 🙂

    Much love to you!!

  212. That’s awesome! I’m next. Lol
    Enjoy peace and the freedom to do whatever you want to do!)?

  213. You and I have met a few times in Pittsburgh party and other locations. I remember how happy you were, but I’m so proud of you. I waited until I had a fx skull before I was brave enough to leave. Then what I thought was Prince Charming arrived 12 yrs later who proceeded to leave 6 months after the wedding with a girlfriend and I was 5 months pregnant and stuck with the hone we just bought. But through it all, I’m blessed with two beautiful children, my parents were my rock, and I’m my own person. There will be moments of doubt, loneliness and down right scary but the worse is over. You are a beautiful person inside and out, trust your heart, clear your mind and dont be too proud to ask for a shoulder to lean on if you need to, family and friends are there… God bless I will keep you in my prayers… you are a survivor……

  214. You need to listen to the new Zac Brown Band song called Leave Love Behind. On a side note do what is best for you and you will be on the right path. Watching reruns of the old Ghost Hunters makes me miss seeing you on tv.

  215. I applaud you, this isn’t easy at all, it’s hard, heart breaking and sometimes it’s like the darkness envelops the light…for me it was the moment my mum was diagnosed with cancer and what hit the nail in the head was her passing from it…she was my rock, my best friend, my confidant, my mother. She always made it clear to everyone that I was her baby, even though I was the oldest of 2 younger sisters and me being the only son. My heart was broken, a piece of me gone, I was angry, upset, depressed. I cut myself off from my friends, focused on work, and spent so much money on blu-rays, that was my escape along with paranormal shows…I was a shut in. Every time I thought of her I cried, I became angry at God, asking him why did he take her away from us? From me?? What did she do to deserve that? The pain, the suffering? She never smoked, none of her family members ever had cancer, and to make things worse, the doctors could not pinpoint where the actual cancer was coming from, she was literally fighting in the dark…. but what always stuck with me was her faith, her faith in God, she never complained, she never turned her back to him….everytime I thought of her I always had a picture in my head when she was sick and it wasn’t pretty…until one day I decided something, I told my self, my mum would not be happy at me at where I was at my life…there I found peace, peace with my mum not being here and peace at accepting it was just her time. Now every time I think of her, it’s always her beautiful smile and loud laughter, soon as I picture that I smile…also, my 1st nephew was born on my birthday…thank you for letting me share this with you. You got this, you are strong, you are smart, talented and downright cool. I do not know you personally at all, but the Kris Williams that I saw grow at ghost hunters is definitely a leader, a tough smart independent woman. The sun has shined down on you before and will continue to do so as you grow and learn from this situation, I wish you nothing but the best, God bless you.

  216. Took a long time (11 years)for me to realize my soul and well being we’re not for sale. Ultimately, I alone am responsible for my well being. What can I say, I’m a slow learner. You’ll do fine. Just stay aware of who YOU are, not what other want or perceive you to be.

  217. Nobody deserves to be unhappy at the expense of keeping others happy. A healthy relationship is about keeping that part of you alive that was so attractive in the first place, and also creating a new aspect of who you are so you can grow as a person. While your situation isnt the best at least you are able to stand up straight and proud once more. You are a power house and now its time to let the world remember who You are again.

  218. Good for you sweetie and don’t forget you may not know us all personally you have a lot of friends out here that would go to the ends of the earth for you

  219. And if at anytime you need someone to lean on i will always be here to listen…..I know you will be ok

  220. Sorry to hear all the pain and heartache you’ve dealt with recently. I truly respect you as an individual and been following you ever since Ghost Hunters, lol. I remember the first time watching and seeing you on the show and I thought, “wow this is the coolest chick ever.” That was probably back in 2008, only being about 21 years old I knew the potential you had then. I could tell that you had a professional way about you that reflected your personality as well. I personally have never had too many hard moments in my life, knock on wood, but I’ve been in some dark places though. Mostly those moments were because of my own doing and just being young and dumb. What got me through was always looking for the light that could guide me through those darks paths in my past.
    I agree with you on focusing on yourself both mentally and physically and find yourself, find your light to guide you through this dark chapter of you life and don’t give up.
    Much love and respect to you, Kris.

  221. For what it’s worth, I hope you find yourself again and wish you the best of luck on your new journey towards real happiness.

  222. Okay, here we go: I’ve been divorced for over 9 years and was married for 6. It was a bomb dropped on me because I had no idea what my ex-wife was doing and I thought everything was normal and good. Mental health contributed to her cheating and then wanting to be alone, so I was basically the scapegoat. It was the most depressing time of my life. Taking care of a two year old, affording whatever bills, all while she was selfishly doing her thing. Therapy was the best decision I ever made and I got over the ordeal within a year and a half. It was mostly the betrayal. But through all of it, I helped my ex get well mentally and physically and our little lady thrived through it. She’s 11 now and my ex and I have been close friends since I’ve helped her. So even though I suffered through the worst time of my life at 25, things turned out for the best. And now her husband can deal with her nonsense, too, haha! You’ll be good. I’m a total stranger, but if you need any advice, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m an open book.

  223. I just want to say I’m proud of you. I know leaving the marriage couldnt have been easy. My daughter was in a similar situation, and without going into too much detail, it took everything in her to finally realize he was never going to change no matter how much she loved him. She had to walk away. She is happier and in a much healthier relationship now. Her ex is now doing the same things he did to her, to another woman. My daughter is giving moral support to this other woman that is in a relationship with her ex because she is strong and knows what it’s like to live in the darkness of emotional/verbal/physical abuse. I hope you get yourself back!!! Good luck and much love!!

  224. Hey Kris. I’m so sorry to read what you are going through. Just know, you aren’t alone, reading this…it could have been my story, other than moving countries. Giving up everything, believing happiness was just around the corner so hold on and keep trying. Weight gain, losing everything that made me, me. Hang in there Kris, it’s a scary ass road ahead,it is for me too, but stick to it.

    Much respect,
    Wade

  225. You should marry me.

  226. Hi Kris. First, so proud of you for sharing. It’s very hard to put yourself out there, especially as a celebrity. I, a fan of yours, have met you twice and you are very nice. I have also been exactly where you are and am proud to say I made it through. I left a life with an amazing wife, a successful music career, friends, family and more… for a very unstable woman. Turns out I was unstable too. After giving up everything, including almost my own life, I realized how grateful I am for all the people I left behind and have allowed myself to get ME back. It’s a wonderful place to with an incredible lesson. Share your story, it touches people that may need to hear it. Much luck to you and hope to see you doing YOU again on TV or events, etc. Take Care.

  227. For me it was my depression that went unchecked for a LONG time. I looked for love in the wrong places. Lost some redirect from my family, financially all but ruined myself. Attempted suicide on more than one occasion. It took me 10+ years to even start feeling somewhat myself again. Love you Kris and I’m always here if you need an ear. ❤

  228. Sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you. I’m sure I have stories of bad times in my own life. Losing my parents is probably the events that have affected me the most. Always remember that everyone’s good or bad is different. Don’t ever think that you handled your situation incorrectly, or second guess why you did this or that. There is no one certain path in life, and I’m glad you are getting back onto yours. Sorry it had to happen but I’m sure everything will work out fine. Now for the cliche life advice. Life is full of ups and downs. Just remember if you feel like you are at the bottom then use the ground under your feet to jump, climb, and claw your way up. Only way out from the bottom is up. Keep your head up and holler if you need anything.

    Jim McLain

    p.s.
    Years ago I received a shirt and signed photo because of a comment I made on Twitter while watching Vikings. No longer have Twitter but still got the shirt and photo.

  229. With 6 children in tow, i left an abusive relationship after 15 yrs of marriage, i will not go into details of the abuse, but i did learn i am way stronger than i thought i was, my children are grown now with children of their own and my ex died 1 yr ago today. i knew it was time, its a gut feeling, when your heart, head and gut all say the same thing you have chosen the right path…

  230. Hi kris I’m Brian a fan of yours of ghost hunters. I also follow u on FB think u r a great person you will find yourself again. Keep smiling your fan Brian.

  231. Incredibly proud of you for taking a stand. You’ve been longing for home since I started following you on Twitter…..and now we know why. Honestly though, I’m also excited at the thought of you returning to the states, and possibly rekindling some old friendships. Even if it’s just events and stuff……you have a fan base here that adores you.
    As for me……I had to cause and receive alot of pain before change. And total surrender to something greater than me. Glad you’re getting into the right space, and looking forward to seeing what the second act brings ?

  232. I appreciate you being so vulnerable on here, I think we all have our moments that hit us so hard that when we walk away, clarity shines so brite.Why dont we all walk away sooner, hard to say, hindsight is 20/20. Get back on a fun show, keep painting those sick paintings and you do you!!!!

  233. I could’ve written this story. My rock bottom was when I didn’t listen to others who were outside of the relationship telling me to walk away. I believed in love. Instead, I allowed my to be used and manipulated, emotionally abused. The bottom came when I realized I lost everything (family, home, identity, security etc) as she moved on to someone else and yet I continued to hang in there and be convenient because I was afraid. Take the time for yourself, heal, feel the pain . Don’t go rebounding! Come back to Lowell Ma. ? always got a friend here to listen and help

  234. I’m right there with you. 16 year relationship, 9 years of marriage, an 8 year old son together, and I am starting over. I tried, I really tried. The reasons I held on are the same reasons you did. It is heart breaking to be here. I never thought it would end up this way. But this isn’t my ending, it’s a new beginning. I’m shitting my pants, but I know I will be fine. This too shall pass, and I am excited for the life I am creating. I am excited to finally be true to myself. I am excited for you too. The future is bright. Good luck 🙂

  235. I know how the marriage thing goes, I have a no quit, no surrender type mentality/attitude. I was married to my ex wife for 15 years, got married when we were just kids…..I guess 21 years old, but We walked away better for for letting it go, it was unhealthy, I was recently remarried and the stories , fate, fairy tales whichever you like….they are real, they can come true. Just take your time getting yourself right and when the time comes your life will fall in place like you never thought possible. Wishing you the best.

  236. It’s not what you lose it’s what you gain. A lot of end of marriages/relationships aren’t easy your gonna feel loss and pain and separation anxiety I know I did. Please don’t take this as a cliche “time will heal pains” people told me many times and I didn’t believe. I’m 3+ years post marriage I am 46 and starting over it hurts but I’m leading a better person existence and you will too Kris. You were great on TV I’ve seen your art maybe that’s an avenue to pursue no matter what… breathe and welcome back to being you… people loved you for that so continue what you are inside.

  237. You will always have us – your fans. If you just need to talk, there are people like me, that will talk to you – send a note – we will be there. (strangers are sometime easier to talk to – so I’ve learned.) My low point? When my ex literally tried to kill me. I went through hell – there are always stories – not to say more, I am happy now. I got lucky. Realize that tomorrow will come – and it will be better – I have lived counting hours, so it will be better. We are here for you. Stuff is replaceable – people that love you are more important. Be well my friend.

  238. Love ya Kris, this too will pass, and you will grow.

    Those of us who know the person you are, also know that beauty is a combination of 3 things, the good, the bad, and how you balance them.

    Much love and strength to you.

    Welcome back

  239. You were strong enough to endure a bad relationship, so I’m confident you’re strong enough to start over. It’s always tough to move on, but you’ve got this. In the end I’m sure you’ll come out the other side the strong, beautiful woman you’ve always been.

  240. Girl I have had a crush on you from the frist time you showed up on ghost hunters broke my ? when you got married not that I would ever get to meet you but a man can dream hope the Lord heals your heart over time for ever your crush

  241. Well done Kris,
    I also have left a very unhealthy relationship, I stayed in for way too long for the kids. Thankfully she has gone and I have the kids full time and now buying our 1st home. I do hope your experiences didn’t sour your feeling about Australia.

  242. Sorry you had to go through something like that…. No one deserves that… Glad you left and are working on you… Only you can fix you. Sounds like you have a lot of support and know fans ,like me support you… You deserve nothing but the best… Take care of yourself and us fans love ya ?

  243. I too, left a relationship that I tried to keep going for too long. And as soon as I left, I felt so much better. Scared? Absolutely. But I learned that the old saying, “a relationship is 50/50,” is absolutely true. Now, I’m happily married with a baby girl. If I stayed in that toxic environment longer, I could’ve missed the window to the happy life I live now. Wish you nothing but the best!!! Never forget two things: you’re always loved, and you’re worth happiness.

  244. My story is similar to yours. Dedicated 25 years to someone who, in the end, was not worthy of me or the family we created together. I gave all that I had and all that I was. Lost me along the way. I just turned 60 and have been out of that relationship for 17 years now. I have never been happier and more content. I have a great relationship with my children (yes MY children, they consider their father a sperm donor which is sad to me). I found me again! I wish you well. But it sounds to me like you already “got this”!

  245. Hey kris,

    Sorry to hear about what happened. My breaking point was 2012. The weekend after thanksgiving I got a call from my sister saying I needed to fly back home ASAP. My dad was in the hospital ( long story) but anyway I flew right out and a week later he passed. I stayed out there for a month figured what to do with the farm, making a plan, and trying to make sure my mom was ok. You know what they say hold it together for everyone else and keep a clear head. Well I flew back to be with my wife and kids a week before Christmas, 3 days after I got back I found out that she has been cheating and wanted a divorce. That’s the short version. As far as bouncing back, not sure I have. Stuff like that changes a person. I’m still trying to find me. Hang in there! There are still great moments ahead.

    Ps. Don’t take this for anything more then it is lol, but if you need someone to talk to, vent to, just listen. You can feel free to email me. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger, some one you don’t know and won’t judge. Like a pen pal thing. Just throwing it out there. Anyways take care and hold your head up!

  246. My marriage ended this past July after 14 years of being together. It was very tough considering how long we were together and we have kids. I had compromised to much as well and moved away from home and everything. So I know how it feels to start from the bottom. It has been tough me but I have managed to stay strong throughout the process especially for my kids. There have been many of nights when its hits me though and I have broke down. I have just stayed strong in my faith and literally have taken it one day at a time. It hasn’t been easy but each day I have come to feel better about myself and the direction my life is taking currently. I have had amazing support from friends as I have limited family left. So i would say it wont be easy but I definitely feel you are strong person and will get through this. Just take it one day at a time and regain control over yourself and your life. I’m definitely going to be excited to see how well you bounce back. I am just one of your fans but will also say I definitely understand everything your going through and I’m always willing to lend and ear anytime you need someone to chat with. I wish nothing but the best for you!

  247. Kris
    You can do whatever you set your mind to. You were strong enough to see you had to change your life. That is the hardest part. You got this girl. Good luck and love and light

  248. So sorry to hear this happened to you Kris.
    Rise above it and I hope things get better for ya.

    ?

  249. You’ve got this Kris! We’re all working through something, so remember that when you think you are alone. I will keep you in my prayers. Best to you. This is a hopeful letter. Keep the hope

  250. Most times, taking that first step is the hardest step. When you realize that there is a change you need to make, and that it has to be about you. It’s not a matter of being selfish, more a preservation of self as it is. Sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone or other, you have to save yourself. It comes down to that. I was told once, that before you can save others, you have to save yourself. This is about you, and doing what’s right for yourself, so take that step forward, at least you know you have the support team to help you through it. All the best and hope that the future is brightest for you. I’m going to steal a line from the Dark Knight and say ” The night is always darkest before the dawn.” The dawn is coming.

  251. Ground zero moment was when my alcoholic abusive now ex husband got caught cheating and left. I was almost 30 had 2 little kids and his father with me. My ex left me with 64 dollars to my name. I had no work experience I’d been a mom and wife since 19 didn’t know anything but running the house and kids.that was rock bottom. But it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I’ve raised my kids by myself I got a career I love a house I love sure money’s tight sometimes but I’ve got my health and happiness and most importantly I’ve got ME BACK. I now know what I will accept and will not and I know I’m worth more then what I was being offered. I’m single and plan to stay that way. Plus my first grandchild will be born in Jan. In this process that started in 2012 I have laughed cried screamed gave up and finally crawled my way back to myself and loved ones.

  252. It takes a strong person to put it all out there, I’m sorry that you went through all of that but extremely happy your back to the woman you once were, best of luck in what life has in store for you I know you will bounce back better and stronger than ever

  253. I divorced after 14 years . I felt the same way had to file bankruptcy and still starting over . It is hard but one day at a time . You are beautiful , talented and will bounce back . Find yourself and take it one day at a time .

  254. I love you girl! You go girl! You got this! Good to you and your beautiful soul!

  255. You will rise above this! Much love!

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