I think everyone, at some point in their lives, experiences something that absolutely levels them. It may sneak up and completely catch you by surprise… or the thing will slowly and quietly eat you alive over years.
In either case – you are left broken.
You’ve hit bottom and you are not only faced with the daunting task of trying to get yourself back – you are also trying to rebuild your life from ground zero.
For all of us – the event will vary. The death of a loved one, financial troubles, battling bad health, the end of a relationship… regardless of what your “it” is, dealing with the aftermath can be both scary and (sometimes) liberating.
For me – without getting into too much detail – I finally decided to leave an extremely unhealthy relationship/marriage. This is not a decision I have taken lightly… and to be honest… I held on for way longer than I ever should have.
Because I loved him… Because loyalty… because marriage is forever… because relationships take work… because marriage is about forgiveness… because nobodies perfect… because I’m not a quitter…
However, I have recently learned a badly needed life lesson:
Giving up isn’t always a failure. Sometimes – knowing when to walk – is the best and healthiest thing you can do for yourself.
It took me eight years to finally see through the fog but here I am.
In that time, I have half existed (not lived) in two countries. I lost everything financially. I gave up my career. I left my home, my family, my friends, my country… I compromised on way too much, lost my voice, lost my confidence… worst of all, I lost all sense of self.
And through it all my health – physically, mentally and emotionally – all took a major hit – which lead to me gaining 75 pounds (34kg)…
…all because I put too much faith in the wrong person.
As someone who has always taken pride in being a “strong” person – this whole experience has been a tough pill to swallow.
The point of me sharing this with you isn’t to go through the details of the crap I have endured. Nor is it me asking you all to get your torches and pitch forks to take revenge on this person.
I guess, it’s just me putting myself out there.
You all know I married. You all know I had moved to Australia to be with this man… and I know there really is no way around addressing the change in my situation.
With that said – as shitty as it all is – for the first time in years I can finally breath. I am starting to think clearer without the endless drama and confusion. And, for the first time in a long time, I am excited to actually regain control of my life.
I’m not going to lie – part of me is terrified since it is a 100% rebuild but it’s better than the alternative.
All I can say is, I am insanely lucky to have such a loving, amazing and supportive family and friends.
I am also grateful to you.
There are so many people I have never met in person, who have cheered me on along the way. I sincerely couldn’t be more appreciative.
So, what’s next for me?
Step 1: Get Kris Williams back.
Beyond that, I have absolutely no idea but I have all the faith in the world that it will work out.
And for all of those who are also going though a bad stretch – hang in there, you are not alone.
Lots of Love,
P.S. I would love to hear your stories below in the comments… what was your ground zero moment? How old were you and how did you bounce back? What lessons did you gain from them?