Breaded Brain, Chicken Liver and Sex Glands-Oh My!

Did the title catch your attention?

I can promise you, breaded brain, chicken liver and sex glands caught my attention when I spotted them on a menu in a Serbian restaurant.

No joke.

As if the menu wasn’t enough to make your stomach turn, let me take you down memory lane… so you may enjoy my entire dinning experience.

While on the road looking for things that go bump in the night, we found ourselves in Serbia. Besides the hotel restaurant, which really didn’t serve much but cold sandwiches… all we had was one other restaurant in walking distance.

For those that like to think we lived the life of luxury while on the road… guess again (not to say we didn’t find ways to have fun)!

There were only five cars to share among 11-17 people. So, if there was still work left to be done, those of us off the clock had to depend on our feet to get us where we wanted to go.

I’d say our second night in town, four or five of us decided to venture out to the restaurant, located just a few doors down. The place really wasn’t all that big… At first,  it felt like you were walking into someone’s home.

Inside, the lighting was on the darker side and the tables were set in a way you’d expect to find them set at grandma’s… we were greeted by a friendly man, who lead us to our table and set us up with English menus.

And there it was.

Chicken Liver… Breaded Brain… Thymus (lymphoid organ found in the neck) and…

Drum roll, please!!!!

SEX GLANDS.

I seriously could have puked over the first three options under SPECIALTIES but when I read sex glands… I just about fell off my seat.

While the group screamed, giggled and gagged over the surprising dishes… we all settled on something and put in our order.

Waiting for my burger to come out, I remember being in mid-convo with one of my coworkers… when I realized the guy at the bar was picking his nose.

Yes, you read me right – Picking. His. Nose.

Now, I’m not talking quick, little poke to scratch an itch kinda picking… I’m talking two knuckles deep, picking and from what I could see… being caught wasn’t a worry.

When he was done, he went back to cleaning.

The first thing I remember thinking was, “Thank god I didn’t order anything from the bar…”

As the conversation continued, out came our meals…

A burger seemed like a safe choice, right? I can’t exactly say that it was horrible-it wasn’t. It was just weird. Think of the burger patty being more like the consistency of a sausage breakfast patty. The patty was huge and placed to the left of the plate.

To the right of the weird meat patty, were toppings like lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions… all in their own, neat little piles. Add to that-no bun. There was no bread to be found anywhere on the plate… and no sauce for that matter.

While continuing conversation and trying to make sense of my burger, which was more like some sort of meat salad… I noticed the final blow, making dinner the stomach twister of all stomach twisters…

Mr. Two Knuckles Deep Nose Picker was busy placing silverware on the surrounding tables.

And that for me, was dinner in Serbia.

What can I say… when it comes to restaurants… I guess we picked a good one.

Who’s hungry? 😀

serbia kris

Kris Williams
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