Breaded Brain, Chicken Liver and Sex Glands-Oh My!

Did the title catch your attention?

I can promise you, breaded brain, chicken liver and sex glands caught my attention when I spotted them on a menu in a Serbian restaurant.

No joke.

As if the menu wasn’t enough to make your stomach turn, let me take you down memory lane… so you may enjoy my entire dinning experience.

While on the road looking for things that go bump in the night, we found ourselves in Serbia. Besides the hotel restaurant, which really didn’t serve much but cold sandwiches… all we had was one other restaurant in walking distance.

For those that like to think we lived the life of luxury while on the road… guess again (not to say we didn’t find ways to have fun)!

There were only five cars to share among 11-17 people. So, if there was still work left to be done, those of us off the clock had to depend on our feet to get us where we wanted to go.

I’d say our second night in town, four or five of us decided to venture out to the restaurant, located just a few doors down. The place really wasn’t all that big… At first,  it felt like you were walking into someone’s home.

Inside, the lighting was on the darker side and the tables were set in a way you’d expect to find them set at grandma’s… we were greeted by a friendly man, who lead us to our table and set us up with English menus.

And there it was.

Chicken Liver… Breaded Brain… Thymus (lymphoid organ found in the neck) and…

Drum roll, please!!!!

SEX GLANDS.

I seriously could have puked over the first three options under SPECIALTIES but when I read sex glands… I just about fell off my seat.

While the group screamed, giggled and gagged over the surprising dishes… we all settled on something and put in our order.

Waiting for my burger to come out, I remember being in mid-convo with one of my coworkers… when I realized the guy at the bar was picking his nose.

Yes, you read me right – Picking. His. Nose.

Now, I’m not talking quick, little poke to scratch an itch kinda picking… I’m talking two knuckles deep, picking and from what I could see… being caught wasn’t a worry.

When he was done, he went back to cleaning.

The first thing I remember thinking was, “Thank god I didn’t order anything from the bar…”

As the conversation continued, out came our meals…

A burger seemed like a safe choice, right? I can’t exactly say that it was horrible-it wasn’t. It was just weird. Think of the burger patty being more like the consistency of a sausage breakfast patty. The patty was huge and placed to the left of the plate.

To the right of the weird meat patty, were toppings like lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions… all in their own, neat little piles. Add to that-no bun. There was no bread to be found anywhere on the plate… and no sauce for that matter.

While continuing conversation and trying to make sense of my burger, which was more like some sort of meat salad… I noticed the final blow, making dinner the stomach twister of all stomach twisters…

Mr. Two Knuckles Deep Nose Picker was busy placing silverware on the surrounding tables.

And that for me, was dinner in Serbia.

What can I say… when it comes to restaurants… I guess we picked a good one.

Who’s hungry? 😀

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Kris Williams
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21 Comments

  • Gregg Reed February 17, 2016 at 1:15 pm Reply

    Kris
    That’s a horrible restaurant

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams February 17, 2016 at 8:45 pm Reply

      LOL it was pretty damn weird!!! And yes-add everything up, it was pretty gross!

    • Rich February 18, 2016 at 4:04 am Reply

      Kris!
      Well chicken livers ok but brains and sex glands no thanks!
      Wow!!

      • Kris Williams
        Kris Williams February 18, 2016 at 6:19 am Reply

        Yea, I think chicken liver is in haggis… and I liked haggis. All the other stuff… no way.

  • Joe Tourville February 17, 2016 at 2:39 pm Reply

    Kris , “sex glands” are you kidding me, I think I just lost my appetite for now, I think I have a good idea , I’m going to add this story to my diet and exercise plan, I’ll be sure to lose weight. Mr two knuckles deep nose picker that is to funny. lol

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams February 17, 2016 at 8:45 pm Reply

      Not kidding… lol!! Print the menu out and attach it to your fridge 🙂 😀 Should do the trick!!! God, Mr. Two Knuckles Deep Nose Picker was so gross!!!! Never seen anything like him in a restaurant!!!

  • Rob Wilson February 17, 2016 at 9:35 pm Reply

    All you had to say is…..im a celebrity, get me out of here 🙂

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams February 17, 2016 at 9:44 pm Reply

      LOL don’t believe much in the celebrity thing-lol but I hear you!!! It was nuts… literally.

  • Elvira February 17, 2016 at 9:44 pm Reply

    Maybe I could handle some weird meal but when it comes to cleanliness, or your case NOT, that’s the deciding factor.

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams February 17, 2016 at 9:51 pm Reply

      LOL it was either eat in booger land or not eat at all… But yea… it sucked too cause there was seriously no where else to go for food. Unless you wanted to walk miles for McDonald’s… which usually isn’t any better cleanliness wise.

  • Jim Monday February 18, 2016 at 3:02 am Reply

    Hi Kris. How did your stomach do after you Serbian happy meal? Did any of your group get sick?

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams February 18, 2016 at 6:22 am Reply

      From what I can remember, no one got sick. We just left with one heck of a story, lol.

  • MikeD February 18, 2016 at 3:16 am Reply

    Kinda doubt that this was a Serbian restaurant. Was in Belgrade a year ago and had amazing food. Really! The whole time too.
    But anyways, noticed that the ‘Sex Glands’ and ‘Thymus’ had a scratch ‘-‘ for price. Looks like these were just on some weird do it yourself menu.

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams February 18, 2016 at 6:22 am Reply

      It was a Serbian restaurant. I was there… Keep in mind you were in a city-most cities tend to cater to larger audience. Wasn’t part of weird do it yourself-was part of the actual menu.

  • GarryZ February 19, 2016 at 12:00 am Reply

    Hamburger or ham- bugger? Which one did you have?

  • Tisha February 19, 2016 at 12:27 am Reply

    I would never survive traveling constantly…I am way too picky an eater. Definitely sounds like an interesting experience.

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams February 19, 2016 at 12:50 am Reply

      That part was tough-Im not HUGELY picky… but yea… there were some places I lived on soda and chocolate because I couldnt find anything I’d dare to eat!

  • Manny G February 21, 2016 at 1:34 pm Reply

    You’re too funny!! Love it…. Your biggest fan… MANNY – Russ Yodice, the Ripper’s friend…LOL Keep ’em coming!!

  • Kevin Hildebrand October 31, 2016 at 2:27 pm Reply

    Yes, weird, putting it lightly Kris. Seeing the man digging for extra a little extra meat. Couldn’t help but think, ” could there be a little something extra in the ingredients,” After all it is Halloween, maybe and who knows, Kris….That menu sounds like a Trick or Treat 24/7,! I love the story of you’re experience. I could read your stories of you’re journeys all day and never get tired. Love you Kris Williams. Lol and God bless…..

    • Kris Williams
      Kris Williams November 1, 2016 at 3:54 am Reply

      Hey Kevin! Yes, I had no want for the extra ingredients, lol. So freaking gross!

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